- physical numbing, fizzy feeling in head.
- completely blanking out for 10-20 seconds.
- blanking out feelings, being unable to find words.
- flashback type when I'm in a past reality and to those that don't know, they'd think I had paranoid schizophrenia going by my behavior.
I'm working on identifying the usual kind of triggers for each, too.
Slacker, it's an anti psychotic called chlorpromazine. I don't know what actual dose I'm on cos I'm not allowed keep them but the doctor said it was only a small dose if that helps. 40 I think but not sure, sorry. I think it may have been panic attacks I was having cos they can cause unreal feelings and it's only when I go out it happens so it could be anxiety.
dancintrulife that's really good you're on a low dosage. from what i know, folks with dissociative stuff going on can really benefit from low dose antipsychotics... i've asked for them myself but i'm still under review (its been 8 months now)
i'd do a lot of things for some quetiapine though. i know about the weight thing but i'd pay the price any day
good for you kathy about identifying stuff. have you mapped your system out? (may have asked that before.. sorry).. that can be really helpful
man i just had the worst day and now cant sleep in this sticky heat
hi kels. hope you're doing ok. folks with trauma diagnoses dont often get their dissociative stuff picked up cos the professionals often dont know or dont accept that it exists! flat earth society or what :(
Chris, yes, we've mapped. Constant work in process. :)
btw I'm Katie [or Katherine or Katrina] but definitely not Kathy. Please. Thanks! [I used to refuse to answer the register when my 6th form form tutor called me Kathy!]
Hey guys...
yeah i think i'v really always struggled to get diagnosed like i was diagnosed with depression an ED and it wasnt till i was IP that the psych beleived i was having flashbacks and night terrors...so then she finnaly agreed with that...
and my therapist (who is a private psychologist) says i have OCD but the NHS psych wont diagnose that (though my provate one wrote to my GP)....
and so i'v kinda just given up on diagnoses - i guess it doesnt change what it is an i'm having trauma therapy so...
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
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Uh. Yeah Kel, I understand. My GP won't diagnose any more than depression. Although my private psychotherapist has 'diagnosed' complex PTSD.
That saying, my GP helps me with PTSD and other symptoms all the time!!!
The important thing is that you're having trauma therapy. :)
Yeh :) its made some of the PTSD stuff go pretty mental and i keep getting...lost (?) in my thoughts the past without realising i'm not quite 'here'..
but my T says that i need to poke around the wound and irragate it so that it can heal properly... she's been the first (of a long line of professionals) that i'v finnaly been able to trust. woop.
How are you today Katie?
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
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I dont really know where to start with this, im just confused about whats going on with me...
The last few weeks ive lost time. Someone was talking to me, next thing I know ive totally missed their conversation, i had no idea what they had bene talking about.
I got a text from a friend, answering a question and i had no recollection of sending the message. Its rely scary i dont likeit at all.
I tried to explain to my counsellor it was like i was zoned out, cos i didnt know how else to describe it.
i just didnt know if was anything to do with dissociating or if anyone could give me any feedback at all
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
sorry Katie.. i really do have foot in mouth disease :( sorry
happydays i'd suggest you keep a record of what happens, how long, ask for info from those that were with you about what happened cos all this info will be helpful if you get assessed by someone competent in identifying dissociative and related issues
and maybe read what in my opinion is the most comprehensive guide to dissociative stuff, by marlene steinberg 'stranger in the mirror' which is quite cheap and very useful to read again and again
maybe find out if there are any professionals in your local mental health services who are familiar with dissociative issues and have a quiet word with them cos they're likely to know who is useful locally (as dissociative issues aren't that familiar to most mental health staff and many deny they exist)
i'd rather not label what you've written cos there could be many explanations for your experiences
Do you think it's possible to recover from dissociation? Or at least be more aware of it and prevent it from happening? My psychologist thinks that my avoidance of my thoughts and emotions is preventing me from working through them and she wants me to experience my emotions more. I just don't know if it's possible because i'm not really aware that i'm dissociating a lot of the time.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I just read through this thread, and found it very helpful and comforting...I know I deal with dissociation in different forms at times, but haven't really read up on it too much as it's never been real severe. I want to know more about it, though, so I can understand myself better. Any good resources anyone could recommend?
(Hope you don't mind if I ramble a bit, it helps me sort things out)
My issues mainly stem from growing up in an emotionally abusive family...I'm a very sensitive person, so it affected me deeply. There was also a time back in middle school when I was being harassed by a couple of boys in one of my classes...I try to brush it off like it was no big deal, but if I'm honest it still affects me to this day, 8 years later.
I have a hard time with feelings...I block them out unless I feel safe - which is often only when I'm by myself. Even if I can admit to certain feelings, I have a hard time expressing them. I'll smile and laugh while telling someone about the abuse I've been through, for instance. Actually letting myself feel those feelings while talking about it is too scary. I can't do it. Detached, that's a good word - I'm detached from my feelings with others. Occasionally when I'm all alone, I'll let the feelings and memories overwhelm me...it's scary.
Sometimes, when my depression is bad, things will go all surreal...like there's a fog between me and the rest of the world and I can't get through it. I get lost in my head, lost in my thoughts and feelings and it's like that's all that's real.
I zone out a lot...like my mind just goes away, never for more than a minute, but it happens more frequently when my depression is bad.
And then there's Eiana...it's the name I go by here on RYL, but not actually my real name. Eiana is the name I've given to the "little girl" part of me. It's not really a separate self, I wouldn't say...just a part of me. I'm not sure how to explain it, really. The way I see myself is kind of...split into 4 parts, sort of. There's me, the outside me everyone sees. There's Eiana, the scared, vulnerable little girl. There's Nan, the comforting, soothing part of me - the caretaker. And there's "her" - the one that screams and yells and hates me...I don't give her a name because I don't think she deserves one. Sometimes I feel more strongly like one or the other. I've never told anyone in "real life" about these other parts of me, not even my therapist. I guess I feel like it's not really real, like it's just something I made up to help myself sort things out better, to help myself cope. Except it is real to me, they are very real parts of me. I don't know. It's confusing.
So yeah...I don't know...does that sound like dissociative stuff to you guys? Is this something I should look into or bring up with my therapist?
I'm not ignoring you. It's just that things've been really... stormy inside me the past little while. Your experience sounds very similar to mine. I'll reply as soon as I can - I haven't forgotten.
