Location: in my land of dreams and nightmares, USA
I ****ing hate you! You promised you wouldn't anymore, yet you're ****ing drunk now! Why the **** do you pull this ****? It's not fair and I wish you'd die! Seriously, I'm about to ****ing grab a knife and slit your throat! That's how pissed off you've got me, and I'm sick of it! STOP DOING THIS!
Sorry I hate you.. It's not your fault.. I'm just being paranoid.. I know it.. I know none of these feelings are true but I can't stop believing them.. They feel so real.. They are all I have...
Please.. Give me your meds.. please.. just the amount that would kill me.. please..
When I go to see the CPN and then a doc and then get the meds.. I'm not sure if I can eat them.. You know how hard it is for me.. Just the idea of swallowing them makes me feel like throwing up..
and.. and.. Don't hate me for saying this.. but.. If there is even a small chance that I can kill myself with those meds.. I can't promise I won't do it..
I promise nothing.. I can't trust myself that much to promise anything..
you're my bestest friend in the whole world, yet i feel as though we are millions of miles away at times. i miss you every day. i hate not getting to talk to you like we did way back when. you still save me and for that i owe you my life. but i still need you and sometimes i feel like you don't see that. i love you. i love you. you're the perfection of my december. ily. <33 lets talk again soon buddy. i'm here for you forever, even in death. xXx
god i miss freshman year sitting by the lockers with you in the morning. and now its only in passing. and i'm falling harder for you everyday. you want me to draw something, for you, well name it.. cause i'd draw you the world. i'd give you the world. i wish i could tell you who i really am. you don't even know how much we are the same. but i am to goddamn afraid to own my life. open your eyes, give me a chance, i'd love you babe, i'd scream it to the world. hun, lets talk more than we do. <3
I want you so badly James.
It hurts that you live so far away, it hurts that I can't hold you, see you, touch you, be with you.
You are the most amazing person I've ever known. You make me feel so good about myself, you make me feel safe.
1.) I still love you soo much, beyond anything else in this entire world. Some days, it consumes me. You'll never know because I'll never tell you or let you see it. She's so cheating on you & she doesn't love you but you'll never see it. So you'll stay with her untill she's done with you, come crawling back to me and that's when I'll do you just like you did me. You made my friends choose sides over this whole thing and pay back is a total betch.
2.) I'm so sorry for the way that this life has treated you. I would give my life up just to give her back to you because I know how much you love her. I'd do whatever is in my power to make you happy for just 10 minutes. I swear I would.
3.) I act like I'm ok with you but in all reality, I can't stand you. I only put up with because I refuse to have anymore drama than need be. If I had my way, I'd ruin you to the point of never letting anyone ever see you again. I'd do what you did to me and I will have my revenge one day.
I miss you so much.
There I admitted it. I want to talk to you on the phone but you always seem busy. Always say you will ring me back. Why can't I tell you I miss you? It shouldnt be that hard. Youre my girlfriend. I WANT to tell you. NEED to tell you. Maybe then you will know why I keep calling. Like every hour. I just want to talk to you..... Im sorry if Im being a nusience.. I don't want it to seem like that. I just really miss you.
I love you.
i'm so sick of the way you treat me, like im stupid, im so sick of feeling inferior,
i know im not as smart as you but you don't have to remind me everday,
one day i would like you to not contradict something i know is right anbd tell everyone it's not, everytime i do something you tell me its wrong,
i love you so much, but i'm sick of you making me look stupid in front of people
I am weary and useless
My body has been beaten and broken by the storm
I need Your hands to carry me.
Because I don't know if I can make it home.
I love you, you moron. How the hell else could you explain the way i am around you? You make me frail and strong at the same time. It's a hard feeling to let go of...
I think I'm falling in love with you despite the fact that I shouldn't and that I know you won't feel for me how I do for you. And I'm sorry for acting so freakish around you. I'm just worried that I'll go unnoticed by you and I want to make sure you see me. That's why I hug you everyday. Because it gives me the delusion you love me too.
I may only seem to be a drunken,
vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels.
But I know about art and love,
if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.
i just wanna tell you...
i'm not okay...
but i don't wanna cause a fuss...
i just thought i'd let you know...
no matter how much i tell you i'm fine...
i'm not.
i'm very sorry
i love you x
p.s. i've started cutting again
p.p.s i'm not gonna tell you about it...cos i'm not gonna attention seek.
I hate you for being sick!
I really love you, but I hate that you have this stupid disease!
It is sooo f***ing retarded! I hate that you can't walk with me,
I hate that you can't go swimming with me,
and I hate, hate, hate, that you won't get any better.
And as much as I hate to be so full of hate and fear and worry for you,
I still want to hurt myself so that I don't feel this way anymore, even
though I know it causes you pain and stress and makes thing just that much
worse.
All I want to do is scream at you and tell you all this, but I couldn't stand
it if you were hurt by my harsh words.
I wish you could hear me now.
Love,
Ashley
Mike,
STOP BEING SUCH A D***!
STOP HIDING BEHIND "I didn't say that." AND GO F*** YOURSELF!
WHY DON'T YOU ACT LIKE YOU DO TO ME AND CHASE IN FRONT OF MOM?
THAT WOULD JUST MAKE MY DAY!
What makes me madder about this is that you won't!
I won't ever tell you any of this unless you bring me to my breaking point.
And if I ever do, you'll slap me around a bit and then tell mom,
"She brought it on herself." or "I didn't hit her that hard." "I don't know
where those bruises came from." "She wasn't listening."
Well you know what? F*** you!
Ashley
Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark,
lay right down,
decide not to go on.
Plumeria Sister
I want to climb onto the nearest rooftop and scream, "I LOVE YOU!!!!" until I can't breathe, but I get halfway up the drainpipe and you've f****d off somewhere else. You're so deaf and blind you wouldn't know it if it came up and kissed you.
Maybe next time I see you, I'll try that, and see what happens.
IDIOT.
~~ if love is friendship set on fire, let's turn this world to ashes ~~
Your probably going to read this anyway, but **** it! I don't really care if you read it, at least you'll know!
I'm so confused. Really ****ing confused! I feel like I still like you. I mean we spoke about having a future together, getting married, having kids, the whole cake with the trimmings! It's just odd to hear about you have a girlfriend now. It don't upset me or anything because I'm with him and your with her. Nothing can change that. It's just such a quick and kinda big change and I'm still adapting to it. But now I know how you felt with my being with him and for that I don't know how much I can apologise for being such a bitch! I just feel like I still want that future, whether he likes it or not! He's planned his future with her, why can't I plan mine with you?
I mean oh my God, I'm just so shocked at myself. As much as I love him I just feel like I'd met you first to get with you and then he'd still be with her and not have to worry about liking me etc and having to split with her for a long time to decide what he wants.
I'm just so sorry. I feel like I'm a burden in some way. To everyone, especially you and him. I can't say sorry anymore, well I can, but it don't make things better. :'(
I'm just going to say it... yes, I worry you'll leave me. I worry that she'll leave her boyfriend and then leave me because I'm no longer enough. I hate what good friends you are and it makes it twice as hard because you aren't completely honest about just how much you liked her. I've heard you tell other people the truth, but not me, so yeah, I worry, and I'm trying so hard not to let you see how much it bothers me, but I see you two together and my heart breaks a little because I'm so afraid of losing you because of how much I love you.
I'm breaking down in front of you,and your just laughing at me!
Why do i even bother? =[
--------------------------
I miss you so much daddy, 8 years and i'm still trying to find out why i wasn't good enough for you :(
You wouldn't of let me get like this would you?
You wouldn't let me sit here crying my eyes out would you?
I'm so sorry for anything i ever did to you,and i wanna always be your little girl </3
:(
i wanted to tell you that i made myself sick saturday night
but i couldnt
its not worth it i know its not
i hate that girl at work she has been out of order 2 me three times now
and i know shes not worth making myself ill over
but i just cant help it
Don't be someone else's slogan because you are poetry.
.gif "rose")
