^ Please do go tonight if you feel unsafe dear. You'll be glad you did so in the morning. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time at the moment. You're never alone though.
*Hugs* <3
"It's not a dream anymore. It's worth fighting for."
"Well, if it's not real you can't hold it in your hands
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it.
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah" - Paramore
Thanks silent scars. I feel alone. My husband is exhausted. I'm a mess. I'm sick of the never ending struggle. I don't know if I should go today. It's so close to Christmas. I'm just, I can't think straight.
It seems like the professionals care about whether I die, but they don't care about whether I'm living. They'll try to stop you from committing suicide but if you're just not functioning and can't live, they can't help. They don't care. As long as your alive. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
Bad. See support thread. Can't explain again. Crisis are calling me tonight, CPN is calling in about half hour and home resolution team are coming around tomorrow morning.
Thank you so much for the thread Roli <3 It meant so much reading the replies today <3
Last edited by Heaven Knows : 22-12-2011 at 03:29 PM.
Oh honey. *Hugs so so tightly* I was so upset yesterday when i heard what had happened. I am very glad your ok, well alive, I know your not ok. I know I speak for lots of people when I say that this world would be a much worse place without you.
What do you feel about their decision not to admit you? Do you think it was the right one? I really hope they can see now that you need support. I hope all the people who are contacting you will help hun. Remember you always have us lot. I know its not much, but its something.
*runs off to reply to more of Katies threads*
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I don't know really. I didn't want to be admitted but now; to what I've come home to I don't think it would have been so bad. It would at least mean I'm safe.
*hugs*
x Katie x
Sending U endless hugs so U can dive into hugs at will I'm done unless I hear otherwise. You will be fine. Talk to friends until U can't anymore. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Katie honey- I know what you mean. I fought to get out of hosp when I was in there in Oct- then when I was out... I wanted to be back.
Just take some time for yourself darling. Give yourself time to recover. If you feel unsafe honey, please reach out. Dont let it get too far again. They will help you. hey will listen to you. Please.
Dare I ask if you have spoken to your BF?
Hang in there sweetie- with you all the way. xxx
Mum24- How are you doing sweetie? I know what you mean about them not caring unless your about to die. I totally get it. I don't even think they listen then... but thats my cynical view. But MAKE them listen sweetie.
What does today hold? Did you go to the centre?
HUgs to all xxx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Roli, I'm at work. I have an appt at 3. I'm going to tell him I'm not ok. But I don't want to ruin everybody's Christmas.
And I just talked to the minister at the church where I work and told her everything. I'm so stupid. I'm going to lose my job. She was so nice and supportive. Her spouse has bipolar.
I'm just stupid. Somebody needs to kick me very hard. Till I wake up from this nightmare of me.
How are you Roli?
Squishes Katie. Love and hugs
Oh darling- You don't need a kick. You are doing great. Well done for talking to the minister hun. I am so glad she was supportive hun, thats exactly what you need and deserve right now. I don't think you will lose your job hun, why would you?
Hmmm... *Tries to compute when 3pm would be in the UK* I hope it goes ok hun. I am very glad your have decided to talk to him your not ok. I hope he is supportive.
I know it seems like a nightmare right now hun, but you will get through this. We all will.
Hugs so close. xx
Katie- I know your short of words right now, but you are in our thoughts. Hugs tightly xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Rachel, I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm glad you told someone honey, and I hope you talk more about how bad things are <3
Roli - I called my CPN and he's going to see me tomorrow. I'm also meeting with a friend tomorrow afternoon so at least I'm busy and she knows most of the stuff so we're gonna talk. I spoke to him to ask him about it; he admitted it and things were said. He's staying at his parents tonight. I just don't want to see him and deal with it when I'm this fragile so it's taking a backseat until I'm stronger.
Katie- I'm so sorry your struggling so much honey. I am glad your seeing your CPN. Was he nice to you? I'm glad your keeping busy, its really good.
I am so so angry at your BF, I can't believe how you could do that to someone as lovely as you. You deserve someone who will take care of you and love you unconditionally. I am glad you are pacing yourself with it though. I'm glad you can admit your fragile. Take it a lil easy on yourself honey- your doing amazingly.
Stay safe sweetie- Here for you. XxX
Mum24- Hope everythings going ok hun. Update us when you can. Here for you lovely xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Yeah, my CPN was lovely as ever. I'm just not meant to be loved like that. It just hurts.
I have noticed you're avoiding answering how you are though <3
x Katie x
I'm glad your CPN was lovely. You deserve loveliness. You are meant to be loved like that honey. You just need to find the one that will love you no matter what. He is out there. Don't lose faith sweetie.
But you have to concentrate on yourself now hun, thats the most important thing.
I'm ok thanks hun.
Huggles so tight.
xxx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I'm going in 40 minutes. I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that my appt won't help. Nothing will. And everyone will be off over the holidays. I'll be all alone. I am not doing well. Oh I don't know. I can't think.
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
