Oh honey *Holds katie gently* I'm sorry you feel like that hun. Please try not to fade :( that would make me sad.
How has today been? Have you done much?
Thank you for your support- means a lot. Just struggle opening up. Bit of a closed book most of the time.
HUggles xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I know the feeling <3 I struggle to do that too honey. It's hard but if it helps it's worth it, right?
Today's been...I don't know. They're all the same really. I've just been trying to stop my head planning. It's not gone too well. I did talk to my friend about things and we're going to talk more about it tomorrow so guess that's a little better. I feel like things have been taken out of my hands...it's like things have been set into motion and it's in someone else's control.
*squishes* am always here. Can always PM if want to talk <3
Katie- I totally get where your coming from with the 'taken out of your hands thing'. I feel like that a lot- quite literally. I hope talking to your friend helps. Hugs tight.
Thank you for the offer.
I fucking hate full boddy shakes. Will be 5 while this stopps xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I'm petrified about the meds change. I am having huge anxiety. Also I have to get everyone ready extra early tomorrow to go tour a new school for my kids before I go to work. It's too much stress. I can't handle stress. I feel overwhelmed and really anxious. I just want to not be alive any more. Why am I still here?
*hugs Rachel*
I wish I had words, I really do. Can you do something relaxing to stop you thinking about the medication change and the stuff tomorrow?
You're still here because you're meant to be <3
x Katie x
I'm freaking out Katie. Panic. Ugh. I hate anxiety. I'm so tired. I want to od. I want out of my life. I hate my life. I suck at living. Realllllllly having a hard time tonight. Really really. :(
*supportive hugs*
I wish there was something I could say or do to make this better. To help. I really do. Is there anyone you can call? Just to say you're struggling with anxiety etc? Can you do something to distract yourself from the urges?
I'm here for you as long as my brain will allow me to think straight <3
x Katie x
I'm sorry. I'm ok. Just having anxiety issues. Having to cope with anxiety attacks not fun. I'm ok though for now. Going to bed. Thanks for sitting with me. Helps. Hope you feel better soon and head clears. Hugs you. Talk in morning. Love and care.
I know the feeling <3 I struggle to do that too honey. It's hard but if it helps it's worth it, right?
Hahahahaha
Well I tried MY best to let my CPN know I'm not doing so well. My best has never been good enough.
Apparently saying 'I'm not sure about meeting, I'm not sure about my motive for not meeting. I'm really confused. I'm really struggling, but I can't see anyone being able to change what seems inevitable. I'm wasting your time. Sorry' calls for a response of 'No probs, take care and hope the hols are ok.' I don't know what I was expecting. But this just made me crash...
I really tried guys. I did. Thats the best I can muster. Once I start writing something like that. My head goes haywire. Starts on at me. Cant think straight- I get confused. Panicky.
I can't do this. The drilling thoughts in my head are focusing now. One place. One time. One chance. I said I would let someone know what this happened. But its too late. I just closed the only window of opportunity. I think I'm glad.
Mum24- I'm sorry you were struggling with anxiety so much yday. I really feel for you- its a bitch.
Katie- How are you doing today hun? Sorry your finding things so tough and that your between a rock and a hard place at the moment.
How are people doing today? Hugs to all xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I'm sorry things are so stressy right now. I think your doing amazingly to keep going. Just try to keep yourself paced as much as you can. I know its hard, but just be careful.
Hope work goes ok. Take care.
Leaving hugs for all xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Hang in there everyone, I'm thinking of you. The urges do pass, even if only for a little bit. I felt suicidal just a day or two ago, and the urge has mostly settled down for the moment. Things will get brighter. Even if you don't feel like you have anyone you can talk to, you always have RYL and support lines. All of you deserve support and to take it easy on yourselves.
*Sending warm hugs to all* <3
"It's not a dream anymore. It's worth fighting for."
"Well, if it's not real you can't hold it in your hands
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it.
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah" - Paramore
I agreed to push the date back to the original...but I can feel they're angry with me. Gah. I don't know the rules.
Hope everyone's staying strong <3
x Katie x
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
