Hugs Katie. Squishes. The battle isn't over. And I think you have the power to win. You've been doing so well talking to people. It's bound to feel overwhelming and bring up more feelings that are hard to deal with. I'm so sorry you are feeling rotten. Don't give up sweetie. I feel for you. Here for you.
Rachel- Darling- you are doing so very well. Keep fighting. I would try to tell your psych as much as you can possibly tell them honey. They will be able to help it make more sense, I'm sure of it. Your not a bad person at all. Its just your head being naughty.
Katie- Honey, keep fighting. Its not a loosing battle as long as you keep fighting. You just need to keep going, but you don't have to do it on your own. Remember that. People are there to help and can help you through this. It is important to keep being honest with them, it will get easier and you will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel (no it won't be a train!)
Hugs to all, stay strong guys. xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I've tried telling 6 people but no one understands. Even my best friend has abandoned me. Why won't she reply to my message?! I feel so alone but then I think I deserve to be all alone. I honestly do think the world would be better without me...
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
CaptainB2 - Sometimes it takes telling a lot of people before you find someone who understands. I've been trying to explain to people about all my issues for the last ten years...but you will find the right person eventually and it will help. Please, don't give up <3 Maybe you best friend just isn't quite sure what to say? Or they're trying to figure out what to say to help? I know it sucks to feel alone; it's the worst feeling in the world. It doesn't last though. It will get better.
Katie- I'm not sure how I am. Heads being very naughty atm. How are you honey?
CaptainB2- Well done for trying to tell people hun- it is a very hard thing to do. Please keep trying- you only need one person to listen and it will make all the difference. Who have you been telling?
HUgs for all- Stay strong guys xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
just head's not really erm working right now and erm not really knowing what to say. I can feel that it's got to happen soon though...how're you roli? X
not okay...won't be okay, can't cope. hate Christmas urgh too hard
One track mind, one track heart
If I fail, I'll fall apart
Maybe it is all a test
Cause I feel like I'm the worst
So I always act like I'm the best
If you are not very careful
Your possessions will possess you
TV taught me how to feel
Now real life has no appeal!
I really don't know if I'm suicidal or not. I just can't tell. My therapist and mother are both very concerned about me becoming suicidal or already being suicidal and not telling them.
Oddly enough, I can't see the signs. Normally, I'll see the signs of wanting to hurt myself early on. But I haven't been suicidal for about five years, so I really don't know...
I hope I'm not.
I'm thanatophobic as it is, so why in hell would I be suicidal?
I just don't get it.
But somewhere inside of me... I sort of feel like I am.
And I'm scared.
I'm really, really scared...
Sometimes the best way to hold onto something is to let it go. - Anon
"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation/You build up hope but failure's all you've known/
Remember all the sadness and frustration/And let it go/Let it go"
-Linkin Park, Iridescent
Agent Imploder: Should they be worried? Do you think you're likely to harm yourself? How are you feeling?
Whispers in the Dark: Because people care abbout you. people who would incredibly unhappy if something happened to you. Because things will get better eventually. PS: Drunk rarely = happy. Alcohol makes things worse.
Mum24: Everything will be okay.
Just breathe: Christmas will be over in another week. Can you last that long?
Heaven Knows: What's going to happen soon. not something bad? :( Please be careful.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
*Hugs to all the above posters who're struggling* <3
Wish I could offer some support to all you, but I feel that would be terribly hypocritical of me right now. It's just become too painful for me. I have everything I could possibly want - a family who loves me very much, a wonderful dog, education at a good college, enough money to live more than comfortably, good health, a place to live, etc. But for some reason I'm still terribly upset. I've dealt with this depression too many years now, and I don't see it ever going away. Sometimes I forget what it used to feel like to be happy. I can't just cry and SI for the rest of my life, graduate college and then end up living alone where I can harm myself as much as I want/need to. I know I'm going to end things at some point, but I'm not sure how soon. Sometimes I just wish no one would miss me so that I could just get it over with...
"It's not a dream anymore. It's worth fighting for."
"Well, if it's not real you can't hold it in your hands
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it.
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah" - Paramore
silent_scars11- *huuuugs* That's terrible that you have had to deal with it for that long. Don't be so harsh when you talk about yourself being hypocritical, and how you have what seems like a pretty good life. You aren't doing any bad by having a decent life and feeling so depressed at the same time. There a lot of people like that. For example, I'm an only child who's spoiled rotten. I only have one big problem in real life. But I'm so depressed so often, I just can't take it a lot of the time.
*hugs again* I hope things turn out for the better for you, and that you get help before you're living on your own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaiporia
Agent Imploder: Should they be worried? Do you think you're likely to harm yourself? How are you feeling?
...good points.
I think they should be. I don't know necessarily about worrying because of suicidal thoughts, but I know that I really feel like hurting myself. It's all because I'm so upset and having flashbacks that are just making me even more upset and dissociative.
Gah.
I think I just realized something.
Thank you.
Sometimes the best way to hold onto something is to let it go. - Anon
"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation/You build up hope but failure's all you've known/
Remember all the sadness and frustration/And let it go/Let it go"
-Linkin Park, Iridescent
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
It's just become too painful for me. I have everything I could possibly want - a family who loves me very much, a wonderful dog, education at a good college, enough money to live more than comfortably, good health, a place to live, etc. But for some reason I'm still terribly upset. I've dealt with this depression too many years now, and I don't see it ever going away. Sometimes I forget what it used to feel like to be happy. I can't just cry and SI for the rest of my life, graduate college and then end up living alone where I can harm myself as much as I want/need to. I know I'm going to end things at some point, but I'm not sure how soon. Sometimes I just wish no one would miss me so that I could just get it over with...
