has anyone else read and/or watched a kind of spark? the tv series was just released for free streaming here in the US. we read the book when it first came out and we keep crying watching the series. even some of the not autistic characters are played by autistic actor humans!
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You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
sorry. we are really struggling. our bathroom sink has been clogged for two weeks now and not usable. we cannot tell our landlord human because we have also not managed to clean in weeks and cannot have strange humans inside. none of our routines are occurring. we are so overwhelmed. we keep cancelling our meetings with our coach human and the new therapist human that is super nice but a horrible therapist human. my mom had to spend over a thousand dollars to help fix things in my car so going to her for any more help with something like this is also not an option.
we asked for a week off of work (the barn) but the barn owner said she'll need to look at her schedule and figure out when that will be possible. she's also trying to hire someone new to replace the horrible human we had over the winter so who knows when it will be allowed.
we are fairly certain this is burnout related but we are too overwhelmed to deal with anything and too overwhelmed and too tired to do any of the things that might actually help and we have zero clue how to break out of this cycle. any advice or even just like yes sorry can relate would be much appreciated?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Sorry things are so rubbish, I hope that at least the external pressures ease up soon.
With the cleaning stuff would it help to break it down into tiny chunks? So like 'today I will wash all my forks' (maybe a bad example but yno), and then once you've washed all your forks you can either choose another tiny chunk or leave it til tomorrow? That way you've achieved something towards your goal :)
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
Breaking down cleaning doesn't work unfortunately. And because it's been so long it's going to take a solid 5-6 hours to do everything instead of the 2-3 it normally does. Doing that now but it means gonna have to cancel meeting with our coach human again.
Don't have to do things at the barn owners house now they're back, but I am doing an extra morning a week right now while they try to sort out hiring a new human. So still just as much to do. But slightly less responsibility since they are back. But they're going out of town this weekend for their son's wedding so that is why she cannot figure out when I can take a week off until that is over and hopefully the new human can start.
unsure if us trying to do sink things ourselves is a good idea. because we could really get in trouble with landlord human if we do screw it up and do it wrong. and if it leaks or something that would be worse?
idk idk idk idk idk
maybe cleaning will help but feeling guilty for having to cancel coach human again and there is just too many things
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
If you managed to clean, would you feel comfortable contacting the landlord human and getting her to fix it while you’re at work? I don’t know how you’d feel about strange humans in your appartment if you weren’t there, but thats often how I get things done because dealing with them being in my space when I’m not there is easier than dealing with them in my space when I am.
It does sound like you need a nreak from work, so sorry that that doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon. Would you be comfortable saying you are in burnout and therefore can’t come to work? As burnout is a form of being sick
no we can't because my dog will be home so we have to be home and having maintanence humans literally break into our apartment when we were not home is why we had to move from our old apartment
no not going to work is not an option because then the ponies would not be taken care of. it is not the type of job where if you do not show up it is not a big deal. and i don't get paid if i don't work and because i'm also not getting paid from school right now i am already screwed money wise.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I get that. Sometimes leases can be complicated, especially when things break and it becomes an issue getting them fixed. I’m not sure what else to suggest on that front if your mum can’t find out things are broken/won’t help.
I’m not suggesting it isn’t, I was just wondering if they have other humans why they couldn’t go in for you but its up to you, was just a siggestion :)
There aren't other humans who can go in for me. The other humans who work weekday mornings have multiple other jobs and have asked to be replaced, and I'm already covering one weekday morning until someone new can start. But I work evenings and weekends, which none of them can do. If I can't, the barn owners have to do it. And right now her husband is out of town for a work conference, she's got her own job to do, and they have their son's wedding out of town this weekend. So asking to have it covered even if I could do without the pay isn't really possible.
My mom won't help even if I ask because our landlord human is the one who is supposed to deal with and pay for things to be fixed. So she won't do it and will get mad that I ask her to pay.
We did clean. We have a few more loads of laundry to do and I absolutely need to wash my hair. I keep not washing it for weeks at a time and getting weird chunks breaking off and sores in my scalp and it's all bad bad bad bad bad.
We are at a loss but our coach human said they were not mad we cancelled on them.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
landlord human says we have to deal with on our own so this is cool. had to tell my mom. she says she is going to have a plumber human come tomorrow and we told her she would have to pay for it and she keeps wanting to facetime but we keep refusing it is all bad bad bad bad bad.
at least it is a reason to cancel the therapist human but now we are so overwhelmed that none of the other things we needed to do are getting done today lolololol
why is everything so stupid and horrible and overwhelming and how can we make it all stop?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
What do you think your mom wants to FaceTime you about? It might just be becaise she would find it easier to discuss things, since text things can be slow. I do understand not amswering though.
Does it at least help to know that things are getting sorted out, if albeit slowly?
unsure why she wanted to facetime. but it's usually for things that can easily be texted or emailed and does not require facetime at all, which she knows we hate doing. she did have a plumber human come and said she would pay for it so the sink is fixed now. they even properly installed the drain stopper for us so it works for the first time since we moved in six years ago.
it turns out cancelling as much as we could did help. we finally cleaned. also the barn owners were out of town this weekend and have hired a new human to start this week (on monday). so i was able to work friday morning and get everything done correctly for once with the extra time. we plan to give it a few days and then we will ask about taking a week off. we assume she needs to see how the new human works out.
we hope maybe we can meet with our coach human this week and not need to keep cancelling. we are just very tired of things going wrong.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Following on from a previous post A Kind of Spark is on cbbc in the UK. It should be on iplayer. It was discussed on Points of View where it was given high praise.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I’ve had a very busy week and I’m struggling a bit because over the next few weeks things are going to get busier rather than less so. My flat is a mess and I had to buy new clothes AGAIN because I haven’t washed anything in weeks and my clothes would literally walk themselves to the washing machine at this point. I spent all my money doing that rather than washing stuff. Basic self xare goes to **** when I’m busy so any ideas?
plz bother us in some fashion to respond properly at some point early next week? if we do not respond to this or to your email. v overwhelmed at the moment but will try to respond when we can. just may forget. sending love.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Self care stuff goes out the window for us too when we get busy. Our coach human always tries to suggest breaking tasks down and if that even feels like too much trying to figure out what the barriers are and then working on ways to remove them. Is any of it stuff V could help with?
We also end up sometimes having to cancel or reschedule other important things in order to prioritize it which is maybe not great advice.
Sorry not a proper response but will try to come back when we are better able.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
