I just thought id tell you that i just about kept safe. Im ok about the friend thing now iv talked it over with my counseller who came to visit me. I thought i was ok but im not and thats me being honest. Feel really low. my new meds that im on wont take effect for 2 weeks. I just feel like doing something and then il be out of your way. Its all my fault im always to blame. Iv got nothing anymore my life feels empty. My friends left me at college now i have nothing but misery. Finding a way out like killing myself is better for me and everyone here you wont have to put up with me going on all the time. Im sorry to everyone who posts onmy thread or looks. Im so sorry. Im not very good at all i tried to kill myself not long ago but didnt go through with it as i knew my mum would be back from work iv also written a suicide note in my diary. I feel really suicidal.
Ian ,
Im glad you kept safe, im glad talking to your counsellor has helped you over the friend thing. I hope you did share with your counsellor about how suicidal you are feeling.
I hear you about how you feel ian, hugs, please dont do anything,
a way out isnt in killing yourself ian please ring someone to get immediate help right now. Dont say we would be better off if you were dead,
thats NOT TRUE we want you to get better and not kill yourself.
Hugs you lots im sorry you felt so bad that you tried to kill yourself, im glad you didnt, and i hear you about you writing a suicide note.
PLEASE PLEASE Ian however hard it is YOU MUST REACH OUT to someone
NOW please please ring for immediate help so someone can stop you
killing yourself.
IAN PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN if your suicidal right now
please please ring someone right now and get help
Tell your counsellor the truth you are wanting to kill yourself and you have a plan, so she can get you immediate help.
Or ring your local Drs out of hours emergency telephone numb to speak with the DR on call or a community psychiatric nurse to get immediate support.
Ring your local Accident and Emergency department and ask to speak to a Dr there and tell them how suicidal you are
please do one of these mate things will not change until you can be truthfulL about how bad you feel and things wont get better until
you pick up the phone and ring someone
i hope you do mate ,
Dave
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
Hey, hun, i know you don't know me, in fact you may look at this post and think "ugh, whatever" but these really good people in this thread have REALLY tried to help you out. You are the only one who can make the next step, if you're feeling really suicidal right now, call someone, tell someone who can be with you right from now, dragging this out isn't helping you, in fact, its probably making it worse. You want this crap to end, you wanna get better? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.. its the only way you're going to be happier?
I emailed the samaritans last night and iv just looked about 15 minutes ago and i got a reply from them. I was all ready to go through with my plans to kill myself last night i didnt go to bed untill 4.15 am. My really special friend had texted me earlier to say that she is going on holiday for a week im really missing her so much all ready. I kept planning to do it last night but when i thought of my firend being away for a week i couldnt do it. But i feel so down all i keep thinking about is doing it but when i go to i think of my friend and then i cant go through with it.
You just have to pull through. You need to be strong. Everyone on here is giving you all of the support that they can.
Even though I just met you today,I'm so glad that you didn't go through with it.
Everyone on here is doing their best to give you support, but that's the most that we can do. You really do need to get help. Whether it's talking to a counsellor(sp), calling a help line, or e-mailing a help circle. You need to get imeadiate help.
Just keep thinking about your friend and all of us on here. We would all be devastated if you went through with it. Please...take that into consideration.
I'm here if you need me.
xx
"I let my guard down, and you caught me by surprise" Sonic Syndicate
add me if you want. just let me know you're from RYL.
Hi Ian,
You don't know me but I've seen you around the coards and you're always very supportive and lovely to the people here, so anyone with that kindness in them can't be bad enough to deserve this. Stay strong honey, and you know you can always post here or speak to all these lovely people that have written in your thread, which is a major comfort I'm sure.
Love
xxxxxxx
How could you become as awesome as you are and still feel like a loser?
I dont knwo you very much shadow im here for you! lovith you like a bro and you can make it! all the power to you because you are fucking awsome!
{CDT&CLT forever- December 9th 2011}
RYL Family: crazykat is my stalker, trailsofpain is my guard dog, tonightXweXfall is my psycho mouse, Red is my irkin invader, Mechangel is my muffin thief, rageagainstthemachine is my beloved sister, DeadIrishD is my banana cream pie, scaredofme is my cheesecake of perpetual lovelyness, binkydonkey is my pie
aww thanks your all so lovely here i wasnt going to post tonight but i need to. Im so fed up with everthing going on at the moment. I m so angry at my so called friends at college they were my bloody friends for christ sake and what they bloody did to me was bullying and they reckon im in the bloody wrong grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! im so fucking angry at them. I would never hit them because i dont do hitting i really dont condone violence or believe in it. I thought i was past all the bloody bullying but im wrong. Seems like iv got more of it to come. I wish i was dead but every time i go to i fail to go through wiv it but last night was incredibly close i really needed to talk to someone and there i was sat in my room feeling suicidal and my paents were asleep i was worried that if i got up to go downstairs i would be caught or they would find out. I didnt go to bed till 4.15 am. I dont really think im that great but there you go. they wer eth eclostest friends i have location wise otherwise th eonly riends iv got are on here and im being honest. I have no one else
Well you certainly seem to have lots of them on here, so small blessings eh?!
I'm sure there must be something you can do to make your life more bearable at college. Do you have anyone to speak to in your life that can maybe help you? I know this all sounds kind of fruitless, but I'm trying to help, forgive me! I had a really tough time in college myself and I want you to know it does get better, a hell of a lot better. I hope you can remember that when you feel at your lowest, that it's not going to last forever.
xxxxx
How could you become as awesome as you are and still feel like a loser?
I find listening to the radio quite relaxing, it helps distract the mind a bit and helps me fall asleep. Might be worth a try? Or reading a leisurely book? Sorry if these are all crappy suggestions...I juat want to make things easier for you.
x
How could you become as awesome as you are and still feel like a loser?
Thanks for supporting me. its just unbearable. oh i dont know i give up. I need hugs but then again what can i say iv already got twenty on here in my thread. Sorry hope i dont sound attention seeking. Im just amazed at how many hugs iv got in my thread.
Ian ,
Its good you are still talking, and also good you emailed samaritans
having that support it helpfull. The email does take a while to get back
to you but it makes a big difference.
I do think that you need more immediate help tho, its understandable that you find it unbearable, but you must ring someone and get help sooner . You still express how close you are to ending your life.
And i really feel you need to try and talk to your parents.
please try and ring the SAMARITANS ian
ring your Dr tell someone how suicidal you have been and still are get
your Dr to get the Crisis team in touch with you.
talk with your local Accident and Emergency department Dr or on dutyri
psychiatrist.
youve taken a big step in emailing Samaritans, well done, please build on it ian
no one here wants you to hurt yourself, or take your own life.
we are worried you arnt reaching out to help your
self enough. emailing samaritans is a great step ian
Its important for you to express yourself, we dont want you
to stop. Its hard for everyone here to hear you repeatedly say your going to take your life. We all want you to reach out yourself and get the SUPPORT- HELP you need staight away.
sorry ive not been here recently im having to keep myself safe, theres only so much support each of us can provide. I think once you get
some immediate help ian things will get a little better.
i hope you reach out and get the immediate support
Dave
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
Last night was awful. I dont know why im saying really but ther eyou go who cares. If i die i die. No one can help me why bother with a looser like me. I dont help myself im pathetic so why should i get help. Iv always been a pathetic looser and that will never change.
Ian,
im sorry last night was awfull, hugs, you say no one cares, Ian, please understand lots of people care here at ryl. Just look back on your thread and see all the posts, and how many hugs you haveto see people care.
And yes people can and have helped you mate, the last part of the help is something RYL cant do for you, only you yourself can help yourself.
By ringing someone now for immediate help, i hope you do, as its your choice.
You can help yourself by taking the step to ring someone yourself,
your not pathetic youve been brilliant and especially taking that step to e mail the samaritans.
You have the power my friend to change this you do, please find the courage to ring someone.
Hugs
Dave
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
I had a good day yesterday but now im back to sqaure one again. iv just about had enough. Im really missing my really special friend who i love so much. Just ignore me and dont bother to read this post its not worth listening to me moan. Im sorry everyone. I know that it just cant be done anymore. Iv really had enough
You need to be strong. there are definitely people here and around you who care. There's me, your special friend, your parents, everyone on here. There are so many people who will be sad if you go through with it, so I'm begging you not to.
You need to get the immediate help that Dave has suggested. It won't get any better until you do. Please Ian.....we are all here for you and we don't want to see anything bad happen to you.
Gwen
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I let my guard down, and you caught me by surprise" Sonic Syndicate
add me if you want. just let me know you're from RYL.
my new meds that im on wont take effect for 2 weeks. I just feel like doing something and then il be out of your way. Its all my fault im always to blame. Iv got nothing anymore my life feels empty. My friends left me at college now i have nothing but misery. Finding a way out like killing myself is better for me and everyone here you wont have to put up with me going on all the time. Im sorry to everyone who posts onmy thread or looks. Im so sorry. Im not very good at all i tried to kill myself not long ago but didnt go through with it as i knew my mum would be back from work iv also written a suicide note in my diary. I feel really suicidal.
I love you truly.
