Because I went there this past week, and I left and got back at the same time that you did, so I was wondering if it was some crazy coincidence or if we were at the same camp.
Forgive me, I have but two faces
One for the world, one for God
Save me
I cannot cry 'cuz the shoulder cries more
I cannot die
I, the whore for the cold world
-Nightwish
"Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something." -Westley in The Princess Bride
yay salanna :) that is so cool well done!
you just made me remember how essential God is to this whole quitting process just by saying god is good and not just ignoring his input in your life. I dont really know how to describe it but you just reminded me that i need to get God back in the process. so thank you, even on here God's spirit shines out from you.
Because I went there this past week, and I left and got back at the same time that you did, so I was wondering if it was some crazy coincidence or if we were at the same camp.
That would be funny... but nah, I was at Carolina Creek in Texas!
Quote:
Originally Posted by pineapple016
yay salanna :) that is so cool well done!
you just made me remember how essential God is to this whole quitting process just by saying god is good and not just ignoring his input in your life. I dont really know how to describe it but you just reminded me that i need to get God back in the process. so thank you, even on here God's spirit shines out from you.
God's always reminding me of His role in all of this
So I really can't imagine not giving Him full credit.
recovery is impossible without Him.
Salanna, congrats on your one year free!!! God has been really good to us having you as a role model for all of this time. We're all behind you, keep going ^_^
Sorry if this is not the right place to post this, but hopefully it is :)
Ive been christian all my life, grown up in a christian home, went to a christian school, 90% of my friends are christian and so on. But I have never ever felt anything. To be honest, the only reason why I still label myself a christian is because of my familie/friends, and not because of belifs or faith. Ive prayed, read the bible and felt guilty all my life because I dont feel this jesus that everyone else is talking about.
But im kinda done with that! Why should i beat myself up and feel abnormal?
I mean, why shouldnt I become a muslim or something? I know a lot of nice muslims, and i know a lot of nice people who doesnt believe in anything. My point being...The only reason im still christian is because its easiest this way, and it suits me at the moment. And theres lots of nice christian people, no doubt.
Sorry about me going on about this, just felt like saying that ive been jealous all my life of people like you:P And I wish I could have that, but obviously I cant.
yes you can.
i used to be just like you.
for me i had to make a conscious choice to try 100x harder to make a relationship between me and God. i know that God is, well, God, but you know how he gave us free will? that means that if you want to have a true relationship with him, you gotta put plenty of effort into it.
he will bless you.
Well, I was reallyreally trying for several years when I went to the christian school. I had people praying for me so I could get the holy spirit, and I really wanted to get some sorta relationship...To feel something.
But there's a limit for how long one can try without getting any response.
Of course, ive always felt like it was my own fault, and i kinda get that attitude from some people too(the typical "good christians"). And im sick of it, Ive done the exact same stuff as they have, and ive really tried, and im tired of getting blamed/blaming myself for something I have no control over.
soooo...i'm 5 weeks "free" today....but i don't feel good about it...i don't feel like that's an accomplishment at all because i want sooo bad to do it right now....i thought that since i became a christian this is all supposed to be so much easier...the thing is i'm not "free" of it even though that's what we say...i'm not free of it...i still think about it every day of my life. i know that i'm gonna screw up at some point and ruin it all. being free would mean that i don't have a problem with it anymore. being free would mean i'm free of all this guilt for doing it or wanting to do it. i'm sorry...its just that i'm really struggling right now...why can't God just take this from me?
oh and ghostface i used to be the same way...then i realized this summer that i had never really become a christian. its more than just trying and being emotional...one thing i've learned a lot recently is that its not about how you feel. its about what you know. if you've genuinely given your life to jesus then you are saved. you might not "feel" saved all the time but that doesn't mean you arent...
Salanna, congrats on your one year free!!! God has been really good to us having you as a role model for all of this time. We're all behind you, keep going ^_^
Role model?
I'll accept that, only because I know that whatever good you all may see in me is really Christ inside of me.
He's the role model.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dazedandconfused
soooo...i'm 5 weeks "free" today....but i don't feel good about it...i don't feel like that's an accomplishment at all because i want sooo bad to do it right now....i thought that since i became a christian this is all supposed to be so much easier...the thing is i'm not "free" of it even though that's what we say...i'm not free of it...i still think about it every day of my life. i know that i'm gonna screw up at some point and ruin it all. being free would mean that i don't have a problem with it anymore. being free would mean i'm free of all this guilt for doing it or wanting to do it. i'm sorry...its just that i'm really struggling right now...why can't God just take this from me?
Wow. You sound exactly like me.
Even being an entire year free, there are days when I am SO close to cutting again. So far the first 8 months were the hardest for me. Back in March I actually bought some more blades, and went so far as to hold one against my skin.
It's completely normal for you to feel this way. & If you ever need anything let me know.
Here are some verses that have helped me.
Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that you have been set free, therefore do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."
Basically this means, you were set free so that you can BE FREE! Christ's freedom is so real and true. You were not set free so that you can go right back to the old lifestyle [that is, "submit again to a yoke of slavery"].
2 Corinthians 3:17 "The Lord is spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." His spirit is within you, and that means freedom!
and in reference to "why can't God just take this from me?"
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "7 So to keep me from being too elated by the surpassing greatness of the revelations,a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then,I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Paul was struggling with something that he called "a thorn in his side". and he PLEADED with God 3 times to take it away. But God didn't.
He had to learn to be weak, so that he could fully rely on Christ.
[one of my very favorite passages]
So my advice, pray, read the Bible daily, surround yourself with good, Godly things and people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dazedandconfused
oh and ghostface i used to be the same way...then i realized this summer that i had never really become a christian. its more than just trying and being emotional...one thing i've learned a lot recently is that its not about how you feel. its about what you know. if you've genuinely given your life to jesus then you are saved. you might not "feel" saved all the time but that doesn't mean you arent...
ghostface: the limit is only coming from you.
it sounds harsh, i'm sorry.
but God doesn't have a limit for that.
a lot of people come away from
church services or conferences
feeling like they've had an encounter with God,
but if it doesn't last, it was purely emotional.
not spiritual.
do you want, really want,
a real relationship with God?
having a relationship with him
doesn't mean that he will bestow you with
"feeling" him all the time
everyone experiences it differently
don't be discouraged if you cry out for God
and he doesn't answer right away
look and see if he's revealing himself in the simple things
you've probably already done that
keep doing it.
Role model?
I'll accept that, only because I know that whatever good you all may see in me is really Christ inside of me.
He's the role model.
Yup, I feel that everyone is put into every situation for a reason, and right now, I feel that Christ put you here to show us, (or at least me) that a year free is possible.
Yup, I feel that everyone is put into every situation for a reason, and right now, I feel that Christ put you here to show us, (or at least me) that a year free is possible.
me too! and a lot of things you (Salanna) have said have helped me so much, God's timing is pretty perfect!
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
i feel like i have let god down in a big way when i relapsed on friday. but i also feel doubt about his love. how can i be teaching teenagers and professing love for god when i am so unsure. everytime i cut i seem to move 1 step further away how could god love me?
Freedom from addiction, freedom from pain. The suffering is worth the life I live now.
thank you soooo much salanna...seriously. that's like exactly what i needed to hear...
and i have another question...i'm just now getting used to this whole christian thing lol and i've always heard ppl talk about "hearing from God" and everything...but i don't know if that's what i'm experiencing..i have no idea if this is just coincidence or just me coming up with stuff....
about a month ago (when i was at camp and got saved) i felt like when i got home i really needed to get rid of my blades...the next day a lady that knew about me doing it said she would get rid of them for me if i gave them to her...then a couple weeks later somebody else told me that they thought i should get rid of them asap. and today i was reading my bible and i felt like i should again...is this what ppl mean by "hearing from god"?? i don't know why i'm having such a hard time with it....and if this is God "speaking to me" is it bad that i'm putting it off? i keep coming up with excuses in my mind...
