Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Sorry But.i Really Need Help Now...*od** HUGE SI WARNING* - Page 2

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 03:52 PM

I mess everything up. I can't do anything right. No matter how hard I fucking try, wait I don't even try anymore that just adds to how crap I am.

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 03:52 PM

Thanks Katie
*holds on to you for dear life*
xx

distant_yellow · 22-07-2008, 03:55 PM

This doesnt make you worthless.

Her not calling you back could mean a lot of things, but it doesnt mean you're worthless.

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 03:56 PM

~~Will someone ever kill me?~~
Will she ever come?

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 03:58 PM

But it must do because I So am.

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 03:59 PM

I don't even like my bloody counsellor, cause she's always booked up.
CAMHS are crap.
sorry guys, if anyone has got good things from then,
but seriously, you can't not check up on a constantly suicidal person.
and keep cancelling their fucking appointments.

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:01 PM

I was going to give her the letters.
I thought she'd make everything alright for me
THAT was my last bit of hope.
I'm not going tomorrow.
I'll either be dead, or I'll lock myself in my room some how.
and then kill myself. With whatever I could find.
I know how to do it.
There is a bridge by me as well...

distant_yellow · 22-07-2008, 04:01 PM

i understand; i can see how that must be (more than) frustrating

*hugs*

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:03 PM

I have no hope left now.
I don't.
it's impossible to have hope left, when you have Actually tried to get the right help and then they keep leaving you.
EvERYbody leaves,
at one point or another.

distant_yellow · 22-07-2008, 04:03 PM

Please dont kill yourself. I know i dont know you or your situation, but please dont kill yourself.

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:04 PM

My tools aren't too far away..
I want to cut ReaLly deep.
really deep.
Worse then I did before,
so it's everywhere.
and I die.

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:05 PM

I wish I did it yesterday.
I wish I did it yesterday
*SCREAMS*

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:06 PM

brb going to the toilet,
dw I am still here
x

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:09 PM

I might just SI ALOT>
that's what I Usually do.

distant_yellow · 22-07-2008, 04:10 PM

You say you have no hope.. but have you ever thought about what the future could make for you?
You cant change the past but there is always hope for the future.

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:10 PM

I am going to ask my Mum when she will leave the house.
Will my parents ever leave me on my own again?
xx

CoffeeawakestheArtist · 22-07-2008, 04:12 PM

I have no future, all I see in it is sixth form, possibly.
( School)
That's it, with those teachers, and those bloody bullies.
Every aspect of my life is filled with darkness.

distant_yellow · 22-07-2008, 04:12 PM

Dont Let Her Leave You Alone!

Tig · 22-07-2008, 04:13 PM

I hope your Mum doesn't leave you tonight, but I know that will be incredibly frustrating for you.
I have been there before, where you really want help & you ask for it & the professionals still don't give it to you. It's a horrible feeling but it isn't anything you have done wrong Hannah. CAMHS are quite a small service and I think it's the postcode lottery whether you have a decent CAMHS etc. I agree with Katie that perhaps you could try ringing the office or ask your Mum too?

p.s. your signature is lovely <3 x

Tig · 22-07-2008, 04:20 PM

I looked up the number for CALL, they are a Welsh helpline & I found them quite helpful before. Perhaps you could try them rather than the Samaritans?
You can text 'Help' and then what you want to say to 81066
or
Ring them on 0800132737

Monday to Friday they are open between 10am-2pm and 7pm-11pm and then on the weekends they are open between Noon & Midnight.
xxx