Adult - i have a potentially upsetting [and VERY private[question i would like to ask....
since your illness have you found your partner no longer 'desires' you, sexually?
Be it because of psychotic breaks, weight, zombie-like reactions to meds/illness/ hallucinations/etc????
Please share...im very curious [the 'pplite' wat to say 'nosey'!!!! LOL)
romp
{if preferred, i can make this a poll where it doesnt sho w ID's of repliers}
My boyfriend and I had some problems when one of my meds totally killed my libido. I didn't mind doing things with him because I knew he was enjoying it, but I got no physical or emotional enjoyment out of it. He didn't really like messing around when he knew I wasn't getting much out of it, so it was kind of a disaster for a while since we've always had a really good physical relationship.
Now, on my new meds it isn't an issue, and he hasn't said anything about having issues with finding me appealing knowing about my hallucinations and such.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Wonders if this should have been put in 'support'...???
I'm oppopsite to you..which id ECREMLEY rfe LOL.
But i too have loat the desire
what i actually miss MOST? is the falliong asleep n his armd, the cuddling after .
ther affectiopn, the intamixy agfter
thx fo shring s oofnfa ojdvddlv
My Sh etc never bothered my other half in that way - however when my BMI got very low my partner found it really hard to even look at me...he tought he was watching me die and he thought he wuld hurt me coz i was so fragile
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
----
I'm probably not in the right thread, but I've never been interested in sex. I don't know if it's got to do with medication, but I doubt it since it predates me being on meds. And when I go off them, my libido doesn't appear.
It's really hard to find a partner who's cool with that.
its the opposite with me too. i dont really have a desire for sex but she does!!! very much. but she has been incredibly patient with me which helps so much. i know this wasnt the question....sorry for trailing off.
loves.
xxxxx
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
My husband hates my obesity, i was a healthy weight when we married. But then too, we had different levels of sexual interest to start with.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
When I met my partner I was on meds and was in 'remisson' shall we say, and our sex life was fine. I told him all about my SI before we slept together and so felt at ease scars and all and we're a terribly horny couple. But since he's gone to afghanistan my meds have been upped and I'm not as sexually fustrated as i thought i'd be, I miss him terribly, and yeah I guess miss the sex but more I miss the cuddles and eskimo kisses. So I guess we'll have to see what happens when he gets back to see if the meds really have affected my libido and if he still finds me attractive when he sees new scars on my leg.....so i guess thats an awful long way of saying I'll have to get back to you in october!
"All battles in life serve to teach us something, even the battles we lose"
"There are moments in life when the only possible option is to lose control"
I errr...wouldnt know...I got worse when I moved house and school...I hit an all time low that I'm only just crawling out of...and in that time...I dumped my boyfriend (of the time), had one 'relationship' that last a week and never properly started a new one....
Maybe people should bottle me and sell me to over-protective parents to use on their daughters (or sons!!) as "boy repellent" >.<
I errr...wouldnt know...I got worse when I moved house and school...I hit an all time low that I'm only just crawling out of...and in that time...I dumped my boyfriend (of the time), had one 'relationship' that last a week and never properly started a new one....
Maybe people should bottle me and sell me to over-protective parents to use on their daughters (or sons!!) as "boy repellent" >.<
i'm a guy repellent all on my own, so i wouldn't have-well, still don't- needed you lol.i've never had a boyfriend...people usually don't find me attractive to begin with, so yeah...
Gather experience. . . Look at what you should not look at. A feeling of anxiety is the sure and certain evidence that you should do this -Clive Barker
I've never understood why people consider youth a time of freedom and joy. It's probably because they have forgotten their own- Margeret Atwood
When I was living with a guy a couple of years ago and he found out I had slipped up a couple of times and SI'd he didn't seem to desire me as much for a while, I think he saw me as being too emotionally damaged. I was more stable then but seeing the cuts was too much for him to handle. Having said that, he seemed to see the depression as making me vulnerable and therefore get turned on by that, especially when drunk. It was just the self harm he couldn't deal with.
Mine is kinda there or not, doesn't really matter. My partner is ill at the moment (in denial about the paranoia) and he has no sex drive at all. So we just cuddle...
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
thank you all for the candid, honest resposes
Kel : i can WELL relate,my hubby is the samwe, he is too, slowly watching mwe kill myself...and is scared he will hurt me too.
i've never had a problem with it at all.apart from a guy i was with a few years ago.
he couldnt cope with me being so small and fragile (growl, im not fragile!lol!) he hated seeing my cuts and scars and it used to put him off to the point he didnt wanna look at me.
it mega affected how i was with guys after but ive been alone a while now so it dont matter! lol!
the problem i have at the mo with my meds is that , in sexual terms (forgetting all the mood swings and mad behaviour my partneer excepts all of that...) i find it really hard to cum .... which is obvouisly rreally frustrating for me and my partner starts to question me with stuff lke is it me? bloody women ..... how do you deal with that one, the few times its all over to quiock....now you can go lke some sort norwegian porn star cross racehorse you get the question is it me? ninja i lmow ull have a opoin some here . p
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
i have never really had a "wanting to have sex" issue. i seem to be friends with people before we get together, so they know me pretty well in terms of life and friendship before anything happens.
the biggest issues have been when both my hands get held down - i FREAK out completely and hyperventilate. it has been something i have managed to control in the last five years... but it happened completely unexpectedly about a month ago - which very definitely kills the mood when i start crying uncontrollably in bed. i have a tendency to curl up in the foetal position when that happens and have had every response from cuddling and calming talk to someone getting up and leaving and never speaking to me again.
i have to talk to people before we go to bed together - there are small scars on my arms which don't really indicate how bad the ones underneath my clothes are.
current partner has been fantastic in terms of how i look. although we only met 2 years ago and my weight has been stable for 4 years or so which means the only external thing is my scars.
in terms of the flashbacks in bed, i chose not to talk about it as it hasn't been an issue for so long. but when it happened last month we just lay there for a long time as i just mentally got myself back into the present. when i 'came to' i realised we were just lying there arm in arm. i have no idea how long i was gone for. we haven't slept together since then and i know we need to talk before anything happens again, but i have never felt so comfortable explaining to someone what might happen and what i might need.
which i guess is the long way of me saying that my sex life isn't really affected but i have to do lots of talking before hand to make sure it stays like that.
I've not had another half looking down on me or saying I'm not as attractive cuz of the marks (least I don't think they have, no-ones said). But, I do tend to freak out a bit re showing anyone my body cuz I've had some bad reactions from friends re the marks. It's just the thing of telling someone I'm only getting to know that I'm pretty ****ed up and they're gonna have to deal with it. Maybe an RYL dating place would help. Then at least we know that we won't need to hide things from the people we're talking with cuz they've prolly gone through the same emotions.
Sorry, a bit off topic there.
xx
"Never resist a perfect moment" - Wen The Eternally Surprised
