Triggering (Suicide) - I need help *UPDATED*

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 05:13 PM

Help me please

Ingenue · 18-07-2008, 05:17 PM

Sammi sweetie i'm here.
What's wrong?
<3

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 05:18 PM

I need to OD or jump or anything

Porcelain Child · 18-07-2008, 05:18 PM

Why are you feeling like that?

Whats happened?

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 05:22 PM

Everything and i cant take no more

Porcelain Child · 18-07-2008, 05:23 PM

Is there anyone you can go to or go and ring to ask for help?

Sleepless123 · 18-07-2008, 05:23 PM

Hi Sammi.i am here too.Do you know why you are feeling so bad?You dont have to say but what happened with Amy and Mel today?

Ingenue · 18-07-2008, 05:27 PM

I agree with the others hun. Is there anybody you can call, like a crisis team or your pysc?

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 05:28 PM

I called amy and mel...and spoke with them i also saw them today but we had an argument about my eating disorder blah blah
mel took me home so I couldnt jump
but she cants stop me doing anything else

Ingenue · 18-07-2008, 05:30 PM

Sammi. Mel & Amy obviously care about you alot. They care about your saftey and well being as we all do.
If you feel so bad, they will want to know.
They will want to help, please let them help you.
<3

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 05:37 PM

i told them

Ingenue · 18-07-2008, 05:38 PM

What did they say hun?

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 05:42 PM

To distract myself and not to do anything to harm myself...yes like that helps me

Ingenue · 18-07-2008, 05:54 PM

Well hun, how about you go on the f&d forums? Post in the threads?
Or why not go on the arcadee?
Or you could pm me or ring Helen if she's not busy?

Or even go and sit with family and watch tv or something.
I know you might think 'thats the last thing i want to do'. But trust me they will distract you, and you won't want to hurt yourself while they are in the room.

You can fight through this sammi.
You can!
I believe in you.
Try and believe in yourself
<3

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 05:59 PM

I dont
I cant

Seriuosly today has been the worst day and I dont want it to keep happening over an over again.

I fel suicidal last night but not extremly bad so I left a message on mels phone and she got it in the morning..I am still feeling sui at that point...I leave my house to go and see them (amy and mel (psych and social worker) Then we argue because they tell me things I dont want to hear! It was just a lil argument though. Then I burst into tears and try to jump out the window...then we argue again..Mel took me home so I couldnt jump off the bridge ...i get home and open my mail to find I can no longer recieve benefits because I was in hospital for 5 months, so now not only do I have nothing..I have no money..My parents are just argh mel and amy says they are...I cant even say it...but argh..I CANT COPE...

Ingenue · 18-07-2008, 06:04 PM

Sammi sweetie. What they were telling you. Were the reasons you didn't want to hear it because it's true?

Because sometimes you are going to hear things you don't like, but that doesn't mean that there is nothing left to fight for.
Fight for helen, i know how much you love her & want to meet her.
Fight for your family who care.
Fight for us, we love you.
And most importantly, Fight for YOURSELF.
You deserve to get better, you deserve a life.
You deserve Happiness.

Fight for it.
Say NO to your thoughts.
Say YES to freedom.

Sweetie i know it's hard.
But it's SO worth the effort.

I will fight for you if it's too tough.
But i want you to try.
Please?

<3

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 06:06 PM

But it hurts so much

Ingenue · 18-07-2008, 06:07 PM

I know and i wish i could stop the hurt.
But fighting this pushes that hurt away.

It will get rid of it.
Doing something else will just hurt your friends & family SO much more.

You deserve it Sammi.
You deserve happiness & freedom.

Fight through the pain. We are fighting through it with you.
You are NOT alone & you have so many people who care.
You can do this.
You can make it through.
I know it.
<3

I am a cat · 18-07-2008, 06:09 PM

But everything is so wrong...ana is doing my head in...the voices are doing my head in....
Why me??

Ingenue · 18-07-2008, 06:15 PM

No one knows hun. Everyone wonders 'why me'.
But instead of thinking like that and wondering what it would be like if it wasn't you, why not kick it in the butt.
Instead of saying 'why me'. Say 'Not me'.
Try not to listen to the voices.
They lie, they hurt you.
Listen to us. We are here for you. We are real.
Ana is lying to you, and you know she is.
She's changing your perception of yourself and hurting you.
She isn't a friend. She isn't real.
She's a lie.
Fight her.
Don't let her in.

Blank them all out.
Just listen to yourself Sammi.
Listen to what you want.
Not what they want.
<3