Me and a friend were talking the other day about what 'sexuality' is. We got to asking whether you can have a true 'sexuality' because the feelings you can feel for one gender the way you do for the other and therefore if, as many people insist, a relationship is built on the foundations of emotional feelings and/or support then why would a gender make a difference apart from sexual preferences?
Age is just a number, gender is just sexual organs (for the most part).
I just wanted to see what other people's takes on this were.
I believe sexuality is fluid.
Basically, you can never really be sure.
I knew a woman that was married for 40 years and then got divorced because she began to like women.
I don't think you can ever be certain that you will stay straight/gay/bi/whatever.
At the moment I would classify myself as straight, however I'm not saying that I might not bump into another female and be attracted to her.
I Kind of agree with you, except for the Age is just a number part. There is such a thing as too young and perhaps even too old.
I think we're all heading the way of Captain Jack from Torchwood. He calls himself Omnisexual. his team mates even say "He'll shag anything if its cute enough." With the way attitudes are growing and changing as society develops I think people are going the same way.
Gender is just sexual organs and sexuality is nothing but a word.
Don't be fooled by my smooth skin. The deepest scars are the ones unseen.
Remember compliments you received, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how..~ Baz Lurhman.
Letting it get to you - You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now that's all that counts. ~ Doctor Who "The Doctors Wife" 06.November.2011
I was stating an opinion. I know I'll always be gay. I'm certain of it, but I know a lot of people aren't. I've never had any interest in men in that way. Being straight has never appealed to me.
Same. And when you know, you know. Some people just know they will never see the same sex/opposite sex in That way.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
I was stating an opinion. I know I'll always be gay. I'm certain of it, but I know a lot of people aren't. I've never had any interest in men in that way. Being straight has never appealed to me.
You're showing a really immature attitude to debating.
You can't just tell someone to sod off purely because you don't agree with them.
It's completely illogical.
If you aren't ever going to consider anyone else's ideas or form valid arguments then what is the point in being on a debate forum?
Back to the matter at hand.
I accept that you feel you'll always be gay.
However I think that in a lot of cases that isn't true.
Most people have at least a short period of experimentation before they know.
Even if experimentation is all it is.
^No, most people don't. they may have the odd straight/gay kiss, but probably when drunk but that doesn't constitute full on sexual attraction; they Still Know they are straight/gay. And though I realise Jukebox could have been more polite a lot of gay people suffer more than their fair share of ignorance, stupidity, homophobia and being told 'it's just a phase' is something most of us have heard about three million times, so although she wasn't polite, I can see where she's coming from.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
That's EXACTLY what I'm saying though!
I am in no way suggesting being gay is any less valid than being straight!
But I'm also saying that in my opinion 90 years (or however long you live) is a bloody long time and I can't see anyone always feeling the same way in that period.
Actually, most people do go through a phase of sexual confusion, usually around age 14ish. Because your mind and body are still developing and going through puberty, it's not a surprise you suddenly feel weird about stuff like this. Not everyone goes through this phase but a hell of a lot of people do.
I personally don't think you can be certain about your sexuality until you're past that stage, for the majority of people I think you can be sure around 18+, obviously for a lot of people they will know before that, and for a lot of other people they might not realise or be ready to accept their true sexuality until they're in their 30s or whatever.
I find it kind of odd your family still thinks you're going through a phase at 21, but hey, when you're 40 they might actually start to accept it :P
From a personal point of view I'm 19 and Bi. I have a gay friend of mine who refuses to accept that someone can be bisexual and the hypocrisy of some of the things he says really hurts, but a lot of gay people have this view on Bisexualness (Totally a word) That it's just a phase and you'll eventually fall into one of straight or gay. Which ofcourse may be true for some people but for me atleast it's not going to happen.
I pretty much think that it depends on the person. People are so different in so many ways and what's true for one person might not be true for another. So while some people are certain of their sexuality from an early age, others aren't and might struggle with it for years and some may never come to terms with it.
It's a sad story.
I agree with whoever said sexuality is fluid, at least for me, it mostly is. I don't really mind one way or another, I've slept with both men and women, and it's all enjoyable. I think I've known since I was about 13, I'm 20 now and it's probably pretty solid, but whether it is or isn't, does it really matter? My sexuality doesn't define me...
I do find it interesting when people say to straight people "aren't you just a little bit bi", but yet that (in my experiance) is rarely asked of gay people. I dunno. I don't like to label it, I've seen both gay and straight people change their minds on their very strong labels on themselves. Just enjoy it all and be honest with yourself...
Last edited by rockaroni : 03-07-2008 at 05:27 PM.
Reason: meep
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
ive know im gay and have known since i was about 13, i dont think im going through a phase, yet im pretending to be straight and would say that is my phase as its easyer than coming out for me anyway
oh what a debate of a question. I personally dont thing sexuality HAS to be stable. my thinking on it and how i describe my own sexuality is that people cant help who they are attracted to or who they love. while im mostly attracted to males, i find myself attracted to females as well but its not a gender thing - its just that i think that persons attractive. that sounds kinda shallow.
i guess thought its each to his or her own, some people will be 100% stable in their sexuality, while others are fluid.
I believe that sexuality has nothing to do with gender, more to do with social roles and what that person is like. I highly doubt that anyone is attracted to every single person who is the opposite sex. Doesn't this therefore suggest that it is the individual more than the gender? Sexuality is based on a number of factors which have to be taken into consideration.
What is gender??? Is it nature or nurture? It could be argued that it is a 50/50 split of both, in which case... is it the social role or organ we're attracted to? We all look at people and find them attractive, so it is possible that gender simply acts as the ice-breaker and reason why we start treating a person in a way which lets them know that there is interest, then social influences play an effect which help the two people get to know each other better and a true relationship form. Though, gender seems to be the sheer coincidence factor. Treating the other person in a certain way means that they are expected/hoped to reply in a similar manner. This is why relationships are formed. Thus, the whole concept of sexuality is questionable. What find attractive we learn to associate to a particular gender. Furthermore, don't tastes and likes constantly change?
Because we associate traits which we like with one gender, doesn't mean that we only like one gender or are one sexuality! 'Sexuality' continually moves, it's more of a flow rather than a simple matter of ticking boxes.
