Triggering (SI/Suicide) - cant do this right now

[lozza]

So much is going through my head right now. I know I should just call my couns already but I just cant, I cant. I can barely bring myself to look at the phone.

Have really bad things happening in head right now. Its so loud. Telling me to do so much. Need to make it stop but have nothing to make it stop. Keep think an o/d will fix the problem but parents are home and will see and freak and I just need this so bad right now, just need my head to stop. Have not SI'ed in a fortnight today, but that doesnt matter right now. Just need this to stop, just need this to stop right now.

Feel very unsafe and know that I should just call or even txt couns but I just cant. I have a safety plan and it says when I get to a certain point I have to call someone so therefore I cant txt cuz it says I have to call but I cant call so what am I supposed to do?? I dont know where these thoughts came from but its really bad and dont know how much longer can hang on for.

Just need an ending. Just need an ending to happen right now.

Lozza

[bleeding_wrists18]

Lozza sweetheart,

Why cant you phone your counsellor?

Hang on in there Lozza honey. It'll pass, the mental moments always do - I know from experiance.

Kepp talking to me on msn babes.

You can do this

I knw u can

mj

x x x x

[Lost-Odd-Sock]

hey darling, im sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time right now, im here if you need a chat MJ is right, the moments will pass, call your counseller if you need to, if it wil help. it will be ok.

please take care

[lozza]

Just got off phone with couns... I txted her and she called me... Was hard but good talking to her, she listened and helped me with a plan of attack for tonight... that being keep talking to peoples on here and on msn and then when tired go straight to bed with no stops in between....

Still not going that great but least now she knows and well at least someone knows and I know I can contact couns anytime day or night...

Arrrghhhh. Just hate this so much. Wish my head would stop. Would like a new one please.....does anyone know where I can get a new head, one where I can actually had full control of what happens???

Lozza

[Ingenue]

I'm really glad you called your councillor and she helped somewhat. Even if it wasn't much, atleast she gave you a plan for tonight.
Please try and stick to it. The moment will pass, you just have to fight it till you fall asleep.
And it's great you can contact her anytime. You have a good one there hun <3

I understand you hate this. Believe me i do. But it will stop.
The moment will pass, i know we sometimes have moments like this months later. But buying a new head would change who you are.
And nobody wants that.

Plus i don't think there is any heads available for sale on ebay =p
And if there was i still don't think any of them has full control over what happens. I'm afraid nobody does. All we can do is our best.
And you are doing that by fighting this feeling and by calling your councillor.

Well done & Keep fighting this.
You deserve to get through it
<3

[bleeding_wrists18]

lozza baby gurl, i am so proud of u for talking to ur counsellor!!! that shows that even though you dnt think it, u ARE in control

i wud giv u my hed, but thats probably just as bad lol

hugs 4 u

mj

x x x x x