concerned about friends

TinkerDebs · 06-07-2008, 08:37 PM

so two of my really close friends at work have been so helpful towards me for the last several months now

and they both know about my SI now
and i knew that one of the USED to do it and recovered [shes been free for about 2 years]
but i found out today that the other one ALSO USED to do it [shes been free for about 4 years]

and today they have BOTH [on seperate occassions] said they they've experienced 'flash thoughts' of wanting to do it again in the last few weeks
but neither of them have actually done it
and im really worried about them both
cause they've been helping me so much
and i want to help them

but im such a hypercrit saying 'DONT DO IT AGAN' cause im doing it myself
i just dont know what to do - i've vowed not to let either of them do it again - but i feel like if they werent helping me through my problems - maybe they wouldn't of been reminded about it

what can i do?
i am really woried about them and i dont want either of them to relapse after all this time
anyone got any ideas?

thanks xxx

Jayda · 06-07-2008, 10:17 PM

Just be there for them, and make sure that they know you're there for them. Instead of telling them "Don't do it again" you could tell them something along the line of "I know how hard it is not to do it, but it would mean a lot to me if you called me first before you did anything."

I don't think the urges ever completely go away, but you being there to offer them support and an alternative outlet to self-injury will be a big help! It's great to have friends to talk to about things like this, especially ones that understand. You're invaluable to them right now, just stay close.

wigeon · 06-07-2008, 10:27 PM

Just let them know that you're there for them and always will be. It's great they've got you as you're so caring, but the most you can do is reassure them and stand beside them, even if they slip.

You can't blame yourself for what's happening to them, although I know it's really hard, having been in sort of the same position. However, just keep in mind that there's a fine line between relying on someone and having them support you. Even so, don't try and keep your problems hidden from them because you feel like you'll trigger them; they'll find not knowing more painful.

Just support them and offer them big hugs, you seem like a really great friend and it's brilliant you can be there for them and them for you.

Take care xx

TinkerDebs · 08-07-2008, 08:15 PM

thanks
well i wrote one a poem called 'dont turn back' and she read it and siad it really helped her which is good
and i'm also going to show the other one - she promised she'd stay safe - plus shes going on holiday and she doesnt want to ruin her holiday before it starts - so i think she'll be okay

i keep telling them that i'm there for them
and i told them 'that if EVER you feel the need to do it - please text me first so i can al least try and distract you'
i know theres not much else i can do for them
i just dont want either of them to relapse as they've both done amazing

thanks for the replies though xxx *hugs*