**hugs** I wish there was something I could suggest that would make them go away. Hopefully the HTT will be a bit more understanding if you tell them why you don't want them to tell your mum. Sorry I don't have any advice xxx
Its ok. Its ok.
The pin just went really deep, blood coming out. My Mum just came home. I have to hide this.
I'll talk to the HTT.
Thanks xxxxx
Edit:
And what if the HTT don't help? The voices are telling me to OD.
OH DEAR I am sorry for being so damn annoying and irritating and clingy to everyone. I know that there isn't much people can do. I should shut up.
I'm scared.
Because of my Asperger's syndrome, I find it hard to express my feelings verbally. I can write the HTT a letter (because I express myself better on paper), but they'll just read it, then put it away in my file never to be seen again. Its going to happen again. I will talk to them and they'll leave after 15 minutes with no successful conclusion. Next week they're discharging me! I have to go back to my CHMT who will see me once (or maybe twice if I'm lucky) a month. adjflkdjsafw34fglk34wg45whj450gm45joiaaaaaaaaaagh
Last edited by Steel Maiden : 14-06-2008 at 01:36 PM.
Reason: additional
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Thanks xxx
Do you live anywhere near London? We should meet up because I would love to get to know you better.
Why is your status "losing it"? Are you ok? Do you want to PM me?
Schizophrenia is a killer. Its a horrible illness; it feels like a mental emphysema; in emphysema every breath is difficult (because the lungs are damaged), in schizophrenia everyTHING is difficult.
And although schizophrenia doesn't have a "cure", only a "treatment", we can still live life to its full potential if we keep fighting, keep strong, keep our chins up and look into the sky not down at the ground. You sound like a clever girl, and I know that you can do good things in life.
The bad thing is that schizophrenia is poorly understood these days...my Mum won't let me tell anyone I have it and she screamed at me when I told Cambridge and UCL about it, even though the unis were really understanding.
If you ever need to talk, I am a PM away. I go on the internet at least once a day so I'll be around.
I love you too.
I really just want to get a knife and tear my skin to shreds, but I've got to keep going...its my future that I'm aiming for.
xxxxx
Sorry for the late post love. My 'losing it' is because i am. I don't live anywhere near london, but i'd LOVE to meet you so so much. You really are my rock Oly. I'm sobbing as im saying this because without you, i'd fall so hard on my arse with being Schizophrenic. It's killing me inside and out.
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
Schizophrenia is a killer, but remember that things WILL get better. Are you on medication yet? Because I would say that my medication has saved my life. I still have the symptoms, but my medication makes sure that I sleep enough and it keeps me calmer than I would be without it. Without it I am in A&E within a day.
Where do you live?
You keep me going too, by helping you I am helping myself too. I would do a lot for you to be happy. I want to help you out of this black hole that you are in and I want to overcome that black hole's gravitational force and take you baack into the stars where the light is.
xxxx
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Dying is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you die, tbh I'll feel so empty. I will miss you so much. Please do not do anything dangerous.
Things will get better. When are they going to put you on meds?
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I went for a 7 mile cross-country as I do every Sunday and I feel better in my head. The HTT saw me yesterday and they helped. Voices are still around and the Woman hasn't left (but the good thing is is that she can't run so when I was running today she wasn't there, which is partly why I love running, because she leaves me alone when I do it). I took my meds and am feeling calmer.
My meds don't stop the voices, hallucinations and paranoia (strangely enough), but they make the whole thing easier to manage. I feel calmer when I'm on meds properly.
How are you?
Thanks x
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Hiya =)
I have a long (102 days to be exact) holiday coming up with only about three weeks of it actually organised with stuff to do, so I am free if you are. Although the distances we would have to travel are rather large, and I would have to keep it secret from my Mother, because she thinks that all internet friends are bad news, which I know is not true.
It would be good to meet up.
I met up an internet friend last Friday and it was great.
Love you too
xxxx
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Steel, I just wanted to say some encouraging stuff:
You CAN do this, you are stronger than the woman, she is weak and you can beat her. You're a better person than she is; you didn't want to hurt your mother so you hurt youself instead, which proves to me that you are a good person. You've also said some really supportive, sympathetic stuff to me, when I thought I was alone in my experiences. That also proves what a good person you are :)
Also, I think you can certainly get into Cambridge or UCL. I can tell from your posts that you are exceptionally intelligent, much more than I am. Is your IQ really 160? That's the type of thing most people would dream of! I wish mine was that high...
You are intelligent, sympathetic and a good person, Steel and please don't let the woman get you down. You're better than she is.
Seize the Day,
Thank you for your kind words. I fought the Woman off today and I managed to do my physics exam, even though the morning was a bad one.
My IQ is 160 as tested by an educational psychologist. But it only means I'm intellectually clever, but tbh I can't look after myself in life. I am useless at independency.
You are so supportive to me that I value your presence. How are you doing?
The HTT are coming tonight and I have a letter typed up for them about everything. I don't know if they'll take notice of it, but its worth a try.
Thanks Vicky,
*hugs back*
Olympia xxx
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Hi Steel Maiden, just wanted to say hi again ans give you a hug. I know how awful it is to see things. I hope you get the help you need from HTT. You can pm me if you want to chat. xxx
maybe you just need to kick the crap out of her. go into a safe place in your head where everyone is there, rooting for you and beat that black dressed bitch down.
tell her how it's GONNA be.
put her in her place.
don't let her win.
it's your thoughts, NOT hers.
i know u don't know me really, but i'm here if u need me.
<3
Thanks you two, that really helped. I went to bed at 9pm and woke up at 6.30am so had a really long sleep, which helped. I feel stronger after that long sleep.
I have two more exams.
The Woman told me that I am going to take part in the next Civil War, but I cannot say anything further because its top secret. I'm apprehensive about being in a War, but it is my instruction.
I didn't give the HTT my letter because they told me to give it to my social worker....sh*t.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Can your social worker do anything for you? Sweety, I'm glad you slept so well, but if you feel you can, tell her you don't want to be part of this War, and that you won't. Sorry I haven't replied for a while xxx
(Just a reminder Woman, GO AWAY!!)
Thanks Amialone
I admit I haven't taken my meds since Tuesday lunchtime, and I won't take them again until tomorrow lunchtime, because the side-effects interfere with my crash revision for the exams.
Nonetheless I heard voices during yesterday's exam and today's exam. And the Woman was there. I will be getting special considerations.
I am telling the Woman that I don't want to be part of this War, but she says she's already signed me up and I have no choice; its like what they did in the First World War, when people were signed up mandatorily.
I'm scared.
You keep me going people, I'm sorry if I am "one problem after another", but this thread keeps me going.
Thanks xx
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I just wanted to tell you that I think you're doing a great job by trying to fight her and sit your exams, considering the circumstances.
It's really, really great that you've achieved this much and are able to hold on AND take your exams, and you've given me the strength to carry on (like: if she can do it, I can do it too) because I'm in a similar situation.
just tell the woman from me to shut the hell up and leave you alone and show her your tongue from me.
I wish you all the best for your exams, you can do this! you've already achieved so much, it's really admirable.
take care.
Keep telling her that you do have a choice, she can't make you go. You are stronger than her, so much stronger, as you've already shown us in this thread by fighting her to do your exams. Don't apologise for letting your problems out, if it helps and we can help you, keep going **hugs**
And I second what antsy_pants says: "just tell the woman from me to shut the hell up and leave you alone and show her your tongue from me" You aren't wanted Woman, and you certainly aren't welcome!
Last edited by GrimmFaerieTale : 18-06-2008 at 10:11 PM.
Reason: Added more
First of all i want to say your in control of your life asif your going to listen to some bitch who is telling oyu to kill someone dont even talk to her just put some music on and play tetris or play a mmorpg for something different itll definately take your mind of things.
Do not im saying do not harm anyone you cant let the devil win fight it by the way marilyn mansons -fight song will really amp you up to own her. Dont let her win and if shes hot tell her to strip for you lol
