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Girlfriend leaving, not sure how to cope.
Hi
It's been a long time since my last post, last summer I was struggling with some real drug issues which I can gladly say are very much behind me.
I've just finished University, literally just a few weeks ago. When I was at uni I got together with a close friend of mine, she's an international student from Jordan and although we both knew she was leaving this summer, we cared enough about eachother we just had to go for it. We had an amazing time together, and i've got more than enough good memories for a lifetime.
Although there were some very intense social and cultural barriers between us, we never let things get in our way. However, as her parents pretty much pay for everything for her, her rent and board, her travel and studies, you can imagine she gets little say in any decisions. Now, this is where the real troubles began.
First she was meant to leave in September, that was bad but it seemed very distant, then it became August, then end of June, and then within two weeks. This all happened in the span of three days! Now, i'm going to be in Sweden over the next few weeks, and she can't guarantee she'll be here when I get back.
I can't even begin to describe how much that hurt me, when she met me yesterday for what was just meant to be a quiet drink so she could see me off before my brief holiday became possibly the last night we were ever going to spend together. Now, that might sound melodramatic, but due to a number of issues, it may very well be the case. I'm going to start rambling a bit here but the story is so complex and emotional I think i need to describe the history for anybody to be able to understand this huge block of a post!
Firstly, her parents don't know and can NEVER know, we were going out. This is very much a cultural thing, and her parents are very very traditional. Due to this, even when I do go and see her, it will have to be as a friend and not a boyfriend, because if we get caught the repercussions will be very serious. She said she has plans to come back to Britain in the near future, and i believe her. She really loves it here, but she does have commitments in Jordan, her family are there and so is the family business.
After she told me she might be leaving while i was still in Sweden, we argued, it was my fault but I couldn't believe it, i still can't get my head around it. I thought we had at least 2 weeks when i get back, and i had planned our final time together, to finally be told last night could be the final night really got to me.
I think i've said enough for now, i've sort of run out of steam, but there is so much more to say. If anyone does respond to this, i will continue, but for now i need to get some fresh air
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