Triggering (SI) - the biggest failure ever

[just-another-gurl]

i think this post might be slightly suicidal as well..... i'm a failure in my familys eyes my boyfriend doesn't understand how i feel. my friends are having the worst time ever and i'm just standin here watching them fall down and i can't catch them, because they push me away........ what is the point of me even being on this planet i'm a waste of oxygen, my family threw me out to day i was left wandering around for 4 hours before a friend came and got me, i just happen to live in the middle of nowhere, my mum finally got worried and asked me to come home which was a f**kin waste of time, all i get is the whole you're not a part of this family speech, i;'m just up in my room feeling very triggered but i can't find anything:( it looks like my boyfriend has been thru my stuff again! i'm not even bothered about me i just want my mates to be happy i guess that's the only reason i'm still here because without them i would just give up, i feel so awful and in need of hugs


love

the biggest waste of space ever
aka katie

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lilymushaboom]

you're not a waste of space anyone can see that just from how much u obviously love your friends! i hope you can get past this feeling at the moment... your family must love you really even if sometimes maybe they don't show it all that well. biggest hug ever x

[just-another-gurl]

thanks i do love my mates but since there ladz they dont show love for me back coz it's not manly to show love, i'd die for them n they no that but i cant talk to them at the min because like a said in my previous post one is taking hard drugs the other is cutting and now the 3rd might have a ED nd its killin me because i just want to take everything that hurts them away but they push me away i shud get over this feeling but part of me is saying i wont :(

[lilymushaboom]

aww hun. them all being guys must make it a lot harder i guess as like u said its 'not manly' to let all your emotions out.. but even if you feel like you can't help them, just the fact that you're there for them & care for them IS helping. xxx

[xXxFallenAngelxXx]

*Hugs you and Dosen't let go*

It's ok; you not a waste of space so don't give up. they may not show their emotions but it doesn't mean their not listening. As ilymushaboom said what maters is that your there and care about them

*still doesn't let you go *