I don't get it. I had almost 3 months. Despite all the stress(talked about in detail here: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ad.php?t=49571) I have to deal with right now I was keeping it together pretty well. And then tonight I got in a little argument with my mom and it just totally threw me over the edge. I want more than anything to stop this, but I can't. I give so much to people all day long, this is like the only thing that I have left for myself. It's the only thing I can convince myself I still have control of even though deep down I know I don't. I want to stop, but the thought of living without drinking or drugs or especially SI to fall back on is terrifying. I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it.........
All you wanna do is drag me down
All I wanna do is stamp you out
don't lose the hope you had.
you made 3 months!
that brilliant. everyone slips up.
i know you have probably heard that over and over but
everyone does. we all make mistakes and screw up or just get so overwhelmed.
it wont last forever. just keep talking to your counsellor and hopefully things will look up soon. even if just for a bit to get you not harming for
for a month. 3 is actually really good. you shudl be proud. you didnt blow it.
you just have to keep going. to cut down the amount you harm is a really big thing
and it is an achievement that you should allow yourself to be rewarded for.
if you have lasted so long you can do it again :)
you have strong will power.
i understand and relate that is a terrifying thing to think of not having your harmful coping
mechanisms to fall back on, but once you get out of the mindset you wont need them to fall back on cause you will have found other things to do and other ways to
handle your intense feelings
<3
i hope i helped
Hey, sorry it took so long to respond, i was reading through the thread you link and kept on being interupted, but i got there in the end :)
Looking after people can be a tiring and emotionally draining job, so i completely understand how you feel. Sometimes we want to do so much for people to help them and make their lives better that we end up neglecting our own.
Have you tried looking into charities for carers? There are some services that offer a respite not only for people like your mum, but also the people that look after everyone. Its a chance to take a break and to meet others in your situation. I think that might be a good thing for you, so you can see first hand that there are others in the same situation. The charity can provide additional support for you as well as looking into government grants or aides that can help you handle things a little easier.
Have you asked your counsellor for 'tools' to be able to handle things, because it does not sound like their pointing out the obvious is remotely helpful for you right now.
I realise it can be tough sometimes, but for what its worth, i think you are going an excellent job. It took a lot of courage to tell your friend that there is only so much you can handle right now. It was a brave thing to do, and although you may feel like you have let her down, it was the right thing to do for YOU, and that's what matters.
PM me any time, im usually around, incase you need someone to be there for you for a change - because ryl is :)
Hey there *Hugs you* Im sorry that you slipped up. Dont give up though three months is fantastic!! Its an axcellent achievement you should be very proud of yourself for that, im very proud of you. Its true, slipping up is part of recovery but we all have slip ups but it doesnt mean that you have failed or that your back to square one. Try not to think of it as that you have failed try to think of it as a bump on the road to recovery. Try not to be so hard on yourself you did really well.
Cutting down any amount is still an achievement even if you cut down from (im just giving this as an example) 5 days a week to 4 days a week. It might be a small amount to cut down from but its still an achievement no matter how small it is. Take things in small steps a day at a time, and if you dont feel you can manage days at a time perhaps you could try taking things in small steps an hour at a time. You havent blown it at all. As long as you do your best thats all that matters, no one can ask anymore from you than your best. We are all here for you, you dont have to go through this on your own.
Hey, sorry it took so long to respond, i was reading through the thread you link and kept on being interupted, but i got there in the end :)
Looking after people can be a tiring and emotionally draining job, so i completely understand how you feel. Sometimes we want to do so much for people to help them and make their lives better that we end up neglecting our own.
Have you tried looking into charities for carers? There are some services that offer a respite not only for people like your mum, but also the people that look after everyone. Its a chance to take a break and to meet others in your situation. I think that might be a good thing for you, so you can see first hand that there are others in the same situation. The charity can provide additional support for you as well as looking into government grants or aides that can help you handle things a little easier.
Have you asked your counsellor for 'tools' to be able to handle things, because it does not sound like their pointing out the obvious is remotely helpful for you right now.
I realise it can be tough sometimes, but for what its worth, i think you are going an excellent job. It took a lot of courage to tell your friend that there is only so much you can handle right now. It was a brave thing to do, and although you may feel like you have let her down, it was the right thing to do for YOU, and that's what matters.
PM me any time, im usually around, incase you need someone to be there for you for a change - because ryl is :)
As far as other resources and getting help, Yeah, I've looked at the different charities around here and my counselor has offered to put me in touch with a good social worker she knows, if I want. It's just with all the budget cuts and services being cut, there's just not enough people willing to do this kinda of thing anymore. The state won't pay for us to get anymore help than we already have, and we definitely don't have the money to pay for it ourselves. So unless my roommates (who are moving out of state in August) help me with my mom, I'm kinda stuck. =/
EDIT: I just posted this in another thread and thought it should go here too.....
"At school today when my counselor asked me how I was doing, I actually answered honestly and said I was having trouble. I didn't try to hide it this time. I told her that I 'screwed up' last night, and even though she knew what I was talking about, she made me say it. I didn't realize that actually having to verbalize that I cut to someone was gonna be so hard. But I did it. I just wish I never would have told my mom I started talking to her, because I've taken so much heat for it. It's like my mom is ok with me doing whatever I have to do to get better as long as it doesn't involve other people. Which is crazy. I can't do this alone. I've needed outside support for years and I finally got up the courage to seek it. What is the problem with that?"
Last edited by CoffinNail : 04-06-2008 at 06:20 AM.
All you wanna do is drag me down
All I wanna do is stamp you out
