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you can overcome this
i put this in moving forward but i think it would be good here aswell
Enjoy :)
bit of background names will be altered*
I started school as a typical year 7 and made a friend it was going great then she turned on me one min we'll be friends the next we weren't in summer y7 i cut my right arm (i think just experiment wise) people saw and asked but i said a cat scratched me. Y8 i did it again this time people saw and they knew what i had done.
They took me into the toilets and talked about it too me i said don't tell anyone. But she went and told my form tutor. The next day i got asked to see my year head. Who told my mum and stuff I was in hysterics crying i had to be outside the classroom.
Time for recovery.
think after y9 my nan died, friends ditched me due to my mental health and i OD nan was my soul my rock and it put me in hospital by the police.
Cutting wise i used to cry that i coudn't recover i couldn't manage 3 weeks with out it. But try as i might i made a month. Slipped up BUT instead of giving up i tried harder i made 2 months slipped up.
Now i am approaching 3 months!! and feeling great for it!!! I can go out in vest tops now and not worry. I even wear vest tops around my family.
Yeah there is times i've wanted to pick up my knife and do my arms in BUT what would it solve. My hard work would have come to nothing. I have been given so much help with schoiol worries (part time timetable) and i don't want to let those people down. My lesson co-ordinator Mrs H, my form tutor Mr M my counsellor manget.
Yesterday i totally tidied my bedroom and guess what along with my junk i put my knife and tablets in the bag! everything i could hurt with.
I put my poems in the bag too i want to be completely free of self harm and all the triggers that come with it. BUT I'M NOT LEAVING RYL. That is my main source of surport and friends.
Just want to say at the end of this post after 5 years of cutting and feeling crap I am now on road to recovery. Yeh i totally agree i'm not free yet but at least i'm trying. I got to my first target of may 15th when i left school.
I wanna go on holiday this year and not wear arm warmers that is in june. and personally i cannot wait!!! Seriously i cannot wait just to chill out in vest tops.
If you are thinking about recovery all i can say is GO FOR IT!!!! but take it slowly not just say iu'm gonna stop cutting end of. It's taken me i'd say a year and a half to get to this stage! and i really do not wanna go back now into it.
The next step for me is stopping counselling which is in end of July.
I've always wanted a new start and college i hope is gonna bethe new start i need. I am away from where self harm started
Hope this is inspiration PM me if you want me to talk further or if you want any help.
Laura,
ps. YOU CAN BEAT THIS. ITS AN ADDICTION YOU CAN STOP IT. IT JUST TAKES TIME AND EFFORT.
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