I am, and have been for quite some time, sexually abused by a boy a year older than me. He started really young, around the time I was in first grade and he was in second. Due to this young start, he has manipulated and confused me to such an extent that the generally obvious answer is not so obvious in my mind. I'll try to explain as best as I can.
90% of the time he is a great friend, and will even play as a the "big brother" I never had. (I'm an only child) If a classmate bullies me, and he overhears it, he will ensure that person does not bully me for the rest of the day - sometimes even week! And for a girl in my boat, that is a long time. I'd like to consider him a real friend, but that tiny voice in my mind is telling me he's just trying to get control of me. That's most likely true.
Now, the other 10%...He'll show up at my door when Mom isn't home, and bearing a key, will barge his way right in. It goes the same way every time. He'll try to create a bit of small talk, and we'll discuss things that interest me. As I feel the small talk beginning to end, I'll say: "____, please leave." Of course, he'll refuse and proceed to grab me and sexually assault me. From licking my private, to just touching it. Many times during this I will fight back, and say "____, stop it." He doesn't.
As he was leaving one time, me still on the floor trying to regain my strength, I threatened to call the police. He looked at me, his eyes all wide, and told me that his life - his dreams, for that matter - would be crushed if he was arrested for such violent crimes. He said they may even try him as an adult. I, knowing about our screwed up justice system, knew they might. If they would charge a teen as an adult for stealing a friend's gym clothes, then they would charge a kid as an adult for sexual abuse. I couldn't do that to a kid. The justice system already screws too many people up.
So, now I'm torn. If I tell, I can get the help I need and he can get the help he needs. I mean, there's obviously something wrong if a boy starts having cravings like that in second grade. But on a downside, his life might be screwed up and I'll get a ton of unneeded attention and concern. My parents would look at me differently...Or, I can just not tell, and have it continue. Then I'm the only one getting hurt, right?
Advice is welcome.
Last edited by Raining_Butterfly : 21-05-2008 at 03:56 AM.
"You can remember anything, real or not; it's all just an invention of the mind." Raining_Butterfly . Understanding. PM any time .
"I'm scarred all over,
both on the in and the out.
There's no way out,
no way to escape this now. " Not Ready To Stop . Depressed . Left Out .
I really think you should tell the police. He obviously needs help. Even if it does mess up his dreams he needs help, more importantly he needs to stop doing that to you. You should tell someone..... Good luck
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
You need to tell someone hun and soon,he cant keep abusing you like he is.
If he's so worried about getting in trouble with the police and having his dreams and life crushed then he shouldnt be doing what he's doing to you.
As you said if you tell then you'll both get the help you need.
PM me if you ever need to talk. X
I was indeed born and then broken. But I am living proof that broken can recover a life worth living.
I agree re. telling someone. It sounds like you desparately need the help and also that he is fully aware that what he is doing is wrong and therefore he is fully aware of what is going on.
Your parents might be hurt by what is going on but only because there child who they love has had to put up with this - there love for you wont be affected.
Big cuddles
Camilla
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
I think you should report it; there's no way he should "get away with it". Yes, he may have problems himself, but he still knows what he's doing is wrong, yet he continues. He shouldn't be allowed to hurt you.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
Yes, you should tell. You should even make sure the police has enough evidence. If he's doing this to you than surely his future isn't so bright... Who knows how many bad things he might do as an adult. Plus - you might not be the only one he's abusing.
You should tell honey. Just because he's young doesn't mean that he shoudln't be punished. What he's doing to you is wrong and should be stopped. Also, if he had urges like that so young maybe someone was touching him. And like someone above me said, it could be worse as he gets older and he might be or might hurt someone else in the future. *hugs*
Have you ever considered that he may need help? Telling can then get him this help that he needs; it will also stop him hurting other people, which he is most likely to do when he can no longer hurt you. From what you have said, it seems as if he knows that what he is doing is wrong; he is controlling and has issues. Do yourself; him; and anyone who may suffer at his hands a favour, and report him. It is best all round.
Oh, thank you for all the replies; I never would of expected it. *Hug*
As for what I am going to do, I do not think I can tell alone. So, I have asked my friend to go up to my grade's principal (Who I trust dearly, more than the counselor) with me, and in turn speak for me.
Thank you all once again,
Erika
"You can remember anything, real or not; it's all just an invention of the mind." Raining_Butterfly . Understanding. PM any time .
"I'm scarred all over,
both on the in and the out.
There's no way out,
no way to escape this now. " Not Ready To Stop . Depressed . Left Out .
