I don't think it's fair to even ask people why they don't just use another site tbh. At the end of the day whether they like it or not their friends are here, they know this place, the people, etc. Despite the restrictions they're not going to want to leave, because this is on the whole 'what they know'. I don't think it's fair to suggest to them to leave tbh, because there are alot of other factors that keep people here, besides the rules/infractions etc..?
just thought i'd throw my two cents in...
how on earth is that not fair? it couldn't be any more fair. it's your own choice what sites you go to and use...and just because you choose to use a particular site that has some rules you don't agree with, doesn't mean that they're being unfair to you.
becoming a member of ryl means agreeing to the guidlines/rules of the site. if a member doesn't like the rules, that's their problem. no one forced them to be here and no one owes it to them to change the rules for their personal preference.
anyway, i think the mods and other administrative peoples on here do a fabulous job and i'm just glad that ryl exists because it's really helped me a lot :)
I don't think it's nice to call anyone names. It's just not helpfull, and helpfull is what we should be towards RYL because we all owe RYL a lot!
It's the same as the police and customs - someone's gotta do it! :P
love to all the mods!
xoxo
Melancholia is my mummy Black Rose is my cupboard hiding in buddie All I'm Living For owns me...i'm her pet frog Aimee in Wonderland is my best-ever-man-girl-lover Lozza is my lovely care bear
you should behave here the same way you do in real life. without bullying, without being unecessary rude, without mocking, flaming, judging.
RYL has stricter rules than most sites. It is because this site wants to provide as positive an atmosphere as possible. it's very hard to achieve already, without having to deal with being called nazis.
RYL rules, if you notice, are really things you'd apply in real life, in a situation involving anyone you know or don't know or like or don't like. The internet is being put on a pedestal of "freedom of speech" which nails the rules of basic politeness in society on a pilori.
The moderating team is here to make sure this community doesn't go to the dogs like so many sites have. You should remember these rules are being enforced so people don't get upset. One day it might be you on the receiving end. You could be in a bad place, a bad day, and feel destroyed by the negative atmosphere. It could be you and then... what would you expect from the mods?
I have to say the rules of this site are fairly easy to follow. they're the same your parents educated you with and the same you should use in real life society.
Secondly, have you ever been 'told off' by someone and tried to make a joke of it? Like, when you're little and you get a smack on the bottom, then call your mum a 'stupid head' for the rest of the day.
No? Just me then. Personally that's how I see all this. No one likes to get 'told off', especially by people who're often younger than them, or their peers.
Also, the 'nazi moderator' thing started off about one mod in particular, not all o'you!
Aimee, I like you too.
Maybe there could be a certain person that people can appeal to when they disagree with a moderators decision. Although who would take on that role I don't know as it is challenging.
If you are unhappy with a moderators decision, you can contact the moderator directly, the moderators via e-mail (moderators@recoveryourlife.com) and if you'd like to go higher, the head forum moderator (typsee) or the webmaster (harley@recoveryourlife.com)
^ In regards to that, Aimee.
I made a post report before, cause I had points and didn't feel like getting anymore.
The next day I got a PM from the person who's thread it was asking 'what's your problem?'.
Alot of the mods are friends with vets, or old-school members so it's hard to complain. Even though you'd expect them to know better.
I have been a mod at times, and I am sure that some of my actions and pissed the hell out of some people, but I know that everything I do is to help keep RYL safe and supportive for as many as I can. What I do, I do because I care. About you. About the membership of RYL. Oh, its so easy to get your knickers in a twist and whinge and whine and gripe about how censored you are and how "teh modz just arent fair" but we are TRYING to do whats right for the majority.
It really upsets me to see a few people not only making RYL uncomfortable for other members, but attacking and really upsetting the mods. Before I was a mod I was a member, for years. All that changed when I became a mod was that I was given a better opportunity to help people.
Nazi is a horrific term. To be called a nazi is really ****ing awful, and the people that say or have said this about any one of the moderators should be utterly ashamed of themselves.
But you know something? I know that some people are going to read this and say "you are right" and others are going to read this and get the shits. But so? I know I cant make everyone happy. There is always going to be one person that isn't happy with the outcome for whatever reason. So what can I do about?
"You can please some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time, but never all of the people all of the time" That quote sums up being a moderator perfectly.
I think people forget that RYL is a privilege. It's not a right. All that is asked of the membership in return for allowing them to use the site is to follow a few, very well thought out rules. The rules are there to keep you safe. To keep RYL safe and supportive for you. RYL is not a right, so really, if we wanted tp really show you what a nazi mod was like, we would kick people based on personal preference. "Oh, you said something innocent that I didn't personally like, byebye"
But never, not once, have I seen or heard of a moderator doing anything like this. Even in the face of severe, and often downright nasty mean bitchy criticism, has a moderator done anything like this.
I really hope that one day, the certain people that my post and WAimees post might be referring to will grow up and realise that their actions, just like the actions of those around them, effects more then just one person. If you cause a fuss on RYL, you effect the entire membership. Think about it. The world is bigger then just you.
Again, the 'joke' is taking the piss out of someone, which somewhere down the line someone is going to get hurt, it's going to cause problems so why bother? The 'nazi mods' - seriously did anyone actually think that saying this wouldn't cause a problem? Come on, get real. Of course it was going to cause problems, yet people choose to disrespect and try to gain a pathetic laugh out of it. Last time i checked RYL was a support site, not a bitching site.
Freedom of speech is what is getting argued here. It would help if people actually feel comfortable posting without getting bashed or flamed. I've heard many a times that people are too scared to post in case their opinion doesn't conform to the 'cool gang'. It's sad, it really is.
But at the end of the day, the mods do a good job, they do what they think is right for the majority, so if we like it or not, just get on with it, it's not the end of the world and if you can't - ask for explanations as they're willing to give them.
The term 'nazi mod' arose when one particular moderator was targeting one particular group of people.
Much like the nazi's. It was a very loose connection, granted. It started as a joke, it appears others have adopted it and use it more frequently.
I don't think this particular moderator ever enjoyed the joke. and I'm not taking sides. I had a lot of friends in this particular group that launched the "joke".
I think people (everyone) need to be considerate about the jokes they choose to use. Like Harriot has said, I am sure that there was a justified reason for the moderators action, and it is likely that it was seen as one group being targetted when in fact all sorts of people are taken action against daily - just not everyone advertises the matter.
Everyone sees things differently - jokes, actions, reasons - and that needs to be taken into account a lot on RYL.
Remember though, this thread isn't just about the 'nazi joke', and I don't want the thread to go downhill due to it.
Nat, I think you have a valid point in that the term wasn't supposed to be coined when describing moderators - unfortunately seeing as how I saw it as recently as today I must say others have used it more frequently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harriot
Freedom of speech is what is getting argued here. It would help if people actually feel comfortable posting without getting bashed or flamed. I've heard many a times that people are too scared to post in case their opinion doesn't conform to the 'cool gang'. It's sad, it really is.
I don't think this particular moderator ever enjoyed the joke. and I'm not taking sides. I had a lot of friends in this particular group that launched the "joke".
To be honest, she wasn't supposed to.
It was a case of you're mean to us, we'll be mean to you.
Childish, naturally. But amusing nonetheless.
Everyone sees things differently - jokes, actions, reasons - and that needs to be taken into account a lot on RYL.
That is so true. Someone wrote something on here recently about how something jokey really hurt, and it comes down to sometimes jokes hit sensitive areas and so are not jokes, or hurt people when they wouldn't hurt others, and what is seen as a joke to some can rip the inside out of someone else, whether it was intended to or not. On a site like this people are going to get upset but things that might not be offensive to others or meant offensively in the first place. I guess it comes down to being careful what you say, not because of the mods, but because everyone is a person on here with feelings as a past and things that can be funny can backfire in a HUGE arse over tit manner even if that was not the intention.
Maybe this thing all comes down to thinking before you post/say something. I'm very guilty of foot in mouth disease and it can be hard to look at it from others angles, but sometimes it can make a different if we try to.
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