Triggering (Suicide) - What's Wrong?

scarred4life532 · 15-05-2008, 12:44 PM

I don't even know why but yesterday i was sitting in a class and it seemed like out of nowhere i just got this horrible feeling of not wanting to continue living. I don't really want to die, but i don't want to continue living, if that makes sense.

It's happened before in the past too, but this feeling yesterday was really strong and lasted for several hours.

The feelings aren't that strong now, but i'm sure they'll pop up later. The horrible thing is that i can't do anything about these feelings either. I feel completely trapped, and there's nothing i can do.

I don't know what i can do.

ps.. I have been diagnosed with depression, but i don't know what kind of depression.

The One Who · 15-05-2008, 01:34 PM

*hugs* it makes perfect sense, at least to me. You don't want to die, but you want to go to sleep and wake up and everything will be better?

Are you getting any sort of help with your depression? Counselling? Medication? If not, maybe go speak to a doctor about arranging something.

Cazki · 15-05-2008, 02:35 PM

I understand what you mean. *Hugs you* Do you have any support at all? Like counselling? If you dont then the best thing i advise you to do is to see your doctor tell him/her how your feeling the feelings that you have been experiencing. Its important to be honest. If you dont feel able to talk to your doctor face to face then you could try writing down all the things that you would like to talk about and then show it to the doctor. You mentioned that you have been diagnosed with depression, but have you been put on any medication at all? We are all here for you and will do our best to support you. Please dont think that you have to go through this alone because you dont. Is there anyone close to you who you could talk to about how your feeling? Does anyone else know your feeling like this? Please keep talking to us.

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxxxx

Ghostface · 15-05-2008, 02:48 PM

I've had that kinda feeling, so I understand what you mean. Not much help in me, but you should really try to talk to someone!

broken-dreams · 15-05-2008, 04:32 PM

I've had that feeling many times.. even about 30 time's a day!!
And i also can't seem to get rid of these feelings :(

Do you like talk to someone about it?...Counsellor?...

You should speak to your doctor about what sort of depression you have been diagnosed with...
x

scarred4life532 · 15-05-2008, 11:46 PM

I have a counsellor, but not that i'm close with. And I'm not on any medication right now. I don't think anybody knows ow bad it is. Even when i was in hospital, they didn't put me on any medication, and i didn't ask for any. But I don't feel like i can tell anybody anything.

I've got trust issues, where i can't trust really anybody, so if i tell someone a secret, i really trust them.

Ya, so i'm in a tight spot right now.

The One Who · 16-05-2008, 10:05 AM

Is it possible to change your counsellor? If you aren't close with them and don't really trust them to talk to then it would probably be better looking elsewhere. I know that's easier said than done, I'm in a similar position. Would you be able to ask your doctor if medication would be right for you, if you think it would help?

I've found trust issues can only be overcome very, very slowly and it takes someone with a lot of time and patience to help you.

If you wanna talk then feel free to PM me.

*cuddles*

ERADicator · 16-05-2008, 01:48 PM

I know how you feel. I sometimes feel like I want to die but at the same time don't really want death either.
It's flooding my mind today actually but I've fought my urges so far. You just need to keep strong and talk to people (not necessarily about depression but let them distract you).