Triggering (SI) - Whats wrong with me... (Dunno if triggers but good to be safe.)

[Knickerless...]

Well where to start..
Right well the good stuff.. i should be on top of the world rite now..
Got accepted into NYFA (New York Film Academy) HUGH DEAL.
Got invited to Cannes
Got offered a Job on the BBC production team..
I mean what more could i ask for..

now the bad..
Well for about the past 3 years i have been recovering for cancer (wont go into huge details) might even be able to finish chemo this year!...
yet all of this is going on yet i feel like i am nothing and have no purpose..
my own parent the whole time i was ill for just over 3 years have dis-owned me.. and why well.. you tell me.. i get great grades at school.. have 11 GCSE's 5 A-Levels play 7 Instruments.. and going to one of the best film academy's in the world yet they act like i am the worst son in the world and wont even take my calls.. it is not like i ruined there like i mean they love my sister who is older than be and also my brother that is only 3.. yet dis-owned me for no reason... and actually the last thing my mum said to me was "Why didn't you just die?"
i mean i love my parents so much and don't no why they hate me.. none of my family wants to know and well it is just making me think should i even be here.. and has made my SI'ing get worse and worse over the years and now just wanna die.. i can't do anything...i have no one.

just well what's the point.. my life literately means nothing.

Sorry for the length of this.. i mean well wont be offended if you dont read it. But well huge thanks if you do.. just needed to be said really.


Nick.
xx

[All I'm Living For]

hi nick *hugs* congrats on being accepting into NYFA and the job and its great that your recovering from cancer and might be able to stop your chemo soon!
i'm really sorry you're not feeling too good atm though. don't die. i'm sure there are other people out there who care about you (sorry but i'm not sure what to do about your family..). do you have a counsellor you can talk to about what's going on? you shouldnt have to go through this alone *cuddles*
i really hope you're feeling better soon.

soph.

[ashleighbean]

congrats on NYFA that is so awesome!!! and i am so happy to hear that ou may be able to stop chemo.
i am sorry to hear your not feeling good. please dont want to die. your such an amazing person, and honestly if you parents cant see that then they are missing out (no offense to them). i hope you feel better, and just know your frickin awesome!! and if they say anything to you thats anything but awesome...tell them to come talk to me =]
xxxx
ash

[green.eyes]

congrats.that sounds amazing.
i'm sorry you dont get more support from your parents.
*hugs*
try to remember that you're doing all of this for you and not for them, you can make loads of new friends when you go and have an amazing time. don't let them knock your confidence.
hang in there

[easier to lie]

Hey kid, first of all, congrats on your amazingly inspiring accomplishments! You must have worked very hard to get this far, and it sounds as though it is paying off! I am sorry to hear that your parents are not being supportive or appreciative of you, I know how hard that can be (I have been in the same position as you), and it makes you feel absolutely terrible.

I know there is probably little I can say that can make you feel better, but I can try....whether or not your parents support you (and believe me, they should), it sounds as though you are bringing a lot of talent to the world, you have SO much to offer, so you cannot listen to your parents on this one. Sometimes parents make no sense, and their reasons are unclear. But you have come through a lot to get this far - cancer, a less-than-ideal family life...and I promise you will be stronger for it, even if it doesn't seem it now. Your strength and perseverance will take you very far in this world, the ability to overcome should not be underrated. I can speak from experience when I tell you this. Please surround yourself with supportive people who recognize all the amazing things you bring to the table and focus on all of the great things you have accomplished. Respect your parents, because they are your parents, but at the end of the day, what counts most is that you respect yourself and focus on the people who truly know you and respect you as well.

I'm always available if you want to PM. Hope things start looking up!