Hey SoFtBaLlgirly5,
It's been a while since you posted, but how are you feeling now? You're mood says you are unsafe, but I really hope that that isn't the case. What is it that made you feel so upset? What are you struggling with? School? Friends? Family? Yourself? It's hard when everything causes so much pain, but it helps to let things out! When you talk about how you are feeling, it makes the feelings real. It makes it easier to let them slide in a way. Are you able to talk about it?
It's scary when you "carve" something on your body. A couple months ago I "wrote" We on my arm because of my mother. In someway, it's different from other cuts. For me at least. I think it's because there is no possib;e way to blame it on something else. Cats don't scratch letters. Rose bushes or porcupines or lawnmowers, none of them would work. The fact that is anyone saw the scar, that's the scary part. Do you think maybe that's why you are so upset over it?
You may hate yourself and your life right now, but tommorow is a new day! You never know what it is going to bring. Tommorow may be the very best day of your entire life, but you'll never know if you don't make it. You just have to keep trying. Keep breathing. Keep fighting. This is one battle you can't give up on. You have to fight it all the way through and not stop until you've defeated it.
Maybe one day is too much right now for you to go without SIing. Maybe start with an hour. That hour, it's all that matters. When that hour is done go another. If that is too much though, go 1/2 an hour, or 15 minutes. Anything that will make it easier for you to cope. If the next time you feel like you need to SI, you come on here, could that help you? Maybe take a hot bath, or go for a hard-core run. Or talk to your friends about who likes who and who did what. I know it's so superficial, but it could help take your mind off of whatever it is that is bothering you. You never know what could help.
If you ever need to talk, PM me anytime<3
Emily
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