Triggering (SI) - How do i tell my boyfriend?

[MyLittleSecret]

im 18 years old and i have been SI ing for a good 3/4 years now....im currently in a new relationship, and really want to tell my boyfriend that i do this. I havnt done it for roughly 3 months. But - i slip up alot nd dont want to have to explain the cuts and what not when he sees them, i want to let him in now.... am i mad?? shud i tell him or not if so how?

[Amaryllis]

If this is someone that you trust and want to share your life with, then yes, tell him. If it's just going to be a short fling, I'd vote for no. But there are only two ways of deciding if it's a fling. One: TIME and two: the feelings of both of you (which can change over time).

I'd say that you should tell him and that it's the responsible thing to do in a relationship. Also, it's not super duper difficult to tell him. At least it wasn't for me to tell mine. You tell him that you have some issues that you're working through and stuff.

If you want a more detailed thing of telling him, feel free to pm me. (I'd type more here but I'm super tired and I'm rambling)

[imogene]

i agree with amaryllis if your sure this is the guy then try to open up to him and tell him about the self harm. my boyfriend found out when we were watching telly and he spotted some scars on my arm and wanted to know what had happened. i found it really difficult to open up to him and only managed to tell him i did the marks myself but over time and a bottle of wine i opened up more. it did help me self harm less as i was so worried about him finding the marks. if hes a decent guy he will support you even if he does not understand go with your gut feeling.x

[Animad]

I think you should tell him. It is better that than him finding out and then asking you about it when you're not ready. At least if you tell him and explain to him that every so often you might cut and that it's part of the whole addictive side of it then hopefully he'll try and understand. You can always print things off the main site to give him so he understands a bit more about it and maybe some insight into why yo do it.

I know it might be hard but it will probably be worth it in the end. If he really likes you then he will try to help you get through it and that will hopefully make life easier.

[jadey]

i agree with the idea of telling him.

self harm is a big aspect of your life and you shouldn't need to be under any pressure to hide it.

if you and him are serious and you want to make a life together then you will have to let him in and if you feel you are ready then you should go for it.

my boyfriend knows about my self harm and although it was a shock he didn't walk away.

it's been a learning curve for us both, living with someone who is self harming or living with someone you can trust with your self harm.

just take it slow and be gentle when your telling him,explain things to him clearly and give him a chance to ask oyu any questions he might have about it.

good luck

Jadey x

[Getting_There_Monkey]

I agree with telling him =) if your sure that it is what you want to do

Let us know how it goes if you tell him please

Stay safe x