Triggering (SI/Substance abuse) - AA Drop Out

lexie820 · 19-04-2008, 05:37 AM

Hey folks. In Jan. of '07, I started going to AA. I went for a year and decided to quit. I didn't like the way they made it sound like if you didn't go, you would definitely die.

I've been able to control my drinking since then. I'm completely able to have ONE drink and then stop.

I am sort of concerned about recent behavior. I have been doing horribly in school (which is not related to substance abuse) but I became so desperate to make myself concentrate, I got an Adderall from someone. I haven't taken it yet (I'm nervous), but I'm still not sure. I just don't want to fail my classes and I have such a hard time focusing.

Also, most of you probably know that 4-20 is quickly approaching. I 've been planning on getting stoned for that infamous holiday. Before I got sober last year, I used to smoke daily.

Am I falling back into bad behavior, or am I being a normal teenager after one bout of troubles? I'm not sure.

Suggestions? Insight?

-Lexie

lostdoll · 20-04-2008, 03:36 PM

Hey Lexie, I understand that AA isn't for everyone. My dad used to go for a few years but discontinued and has managed to stay several years sober. At least you used to go, and know that if you want you can return, and also take from it what you will. There's also AA literature, and helplines as alternatives to meetings if you're feeling unsafe (alcohol-related).

Maybe instead of taking something, try healthy ways to concentrate? Are you getting 8 hours sleep at night, eating three meals a day, plenty of fruit and veg, a good breakfast in the mornings to start you for the day? Even something like coffee?

Please take care of yourself, take it a day at a time and try not to look too far ahead of yourself but just what you can deal with. Sorry this wasn't much use!
xo

blondiebear · 21-04-2008, 03:22 AM

I am in AA and I know that it is just one solution, one way of dealing with things. You have to do what is right for you and what suits you.

I don't know the name of the drug you mentioned for helping your concentration. Sometimes my concentration is poor, so I just think of it like a yoyo or rubber band and keep bringing my attention back to what I have to do. It isn't perfect but I make progress that way.

Why get stoned for 4-20. If you do then are you honoring the horrible things that were done? Giving the Columbine High kids and Oklahoma City's Timothy McVeigh the attention they wanted for their horrible acts? Don't mean to flame, just a thought.

The Midnight Crazies · 03-05-2008, 10:06 AM

I'm not in AA and I don't follow any other recovery method and I'm sober for over a month and plan on continueing staying sober for quite a bit cuz it makes me feel good that I'm in complete control of myself.

Marte

juliaNJ · 06-05-2008, 03:53 AM

I didn't find the few AA meetings I went to to be very helpful. Maybe they were even harmful. I realise these mtgs will be different depending on where they are and all. My experience is that AA is a group that is good for men. There are some AA groups for women only, just not in my area, so maybe that would be better. My reasons for thinking it is a male thing, is because it was really founded to help men. All this turning over your control stuff, knowing you are powerless against your addiction, and making ammends. Well, that to me is for men. Women, have always struggled with power. If anything, women need to be told they are powerful and powerful enough to take care of themselves. Not that they are powerless and insignificant. I don't know if this makes sense or anything. The making ammends thing is hurtful. I know I drink/drank to avoid my depression, that is mostly caused by my lack of power in life as somewhere along the way I gave myself over to my husband. To go around asking for forgiveness for my drinking (yes, I do admit that I messed up and I'm glad I never really hurt anyone due to my substance abuse) is like kicking me further down. I just want to get better and move forward. You know? I have looked at some other addiction websites that have helped a bit. When I was at my worst I posted here a few times in the substance abuse section, all tho it was kinda slow, not a lot of responses. I did find a site called lifering that seemed a little more helpful than AA. I hope you do good. It is good that you are able to drink so in control. I wish I could. Maybe I can someday.

blondiebear · 06-05-2008, 04:15 AM

AA was founded by men. In the 1930's when it was founded a woman would have been ostracised for admitting she had a problem with alcohol. It didn't take long for women to become a part of it and now it is 35% women. As a woman alcoholic, hanging out with other sober women is important to me.

AA isn't for everyone and that's fine too.

The reason 4-20 is so significant I think it that it is Adolph Hitler's birthday.