I'll be going to school tomorrow to take my mock a-levels in biology, chemistry, physics and mathematics.
I am trying not to worry about what could happen at school, I am trying to be brave even though the voices are still there and there are still people accessing my thoughts and consciousness. I also still feel paranoid.
But I am going to try and deal with that and go to school tomorrow.
I'll have to go to Wimbledon centre, take the Underground, and end up in Hammersmith Broadway, then go to school. I haven't been on the Underground for two weeks and I've only managed a quick bus journey during that time, so it will be a challenge for me to stand in a busy Underground train with lots of people inside it who could potentially read my thoughts and access my consciousness. I'm really nervous, and even worse, I have the girls (my school is a girls' school) in my year to face. I think there are some rumours going around as well...
But that I put aside. I will try my best to face school and to take those exams, even if I get 50%, it doesn't matter, they're only mocks.
Steel Maiden.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
good luck for tomorrow:) i think you are really brave, and good for you for going, although its tough. i'll be thinking of you tomorrow, let us know how it goes.
sarah
xxxxxxx
[center]" I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside."
Hey Steel Maiden,
Ive been following your threads, just want you to know i am so happy you are taking steps to resolve your situation! Even if they are baby steps at first, it made me smile to see your progress over the past few weeks! :):):)
Well done, and good luck with your mocks!!
xxxx
Hello all.
Thank you for your ongoing support; it means a lot to me.
I did 9 out of my 10 exams. I had to miss the mechanics exam because the voices were too intense, so the school sent me home by taxi (they wouldn't let me go home by myself on the Underground because the voices were telling me to OD).
The Home Treatment Team consultant is going to write a letter to my exam boards about my illness and meds and how it could impact on my A-levels.
My school is being really helpful with my illness, and they make allowances if need be. I may be able to have extended breaks between exams, and get an extra few % on my result. I am thankful that I go to a school who understands schizophrenia as an illness, not a monster raving psycho looney sort of thing.
I messed up my mathematics C4 exam (which is awful because maths is my best subject) and I missed the mechanics paper, but I talked to the teachers about it. I'll be taking the mechanics paper next week.
When I got home after being sent home by taxi because of the voices etc, my Mum yelled at me for about half an hour and said "there are consequences to your actions" and "you'll never survive in Cambridge if you're going to be like this".
My Mum is hard to understand often.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
It sounds like things're pretty good for you with the school situation. It can make so much difference to have people who understand.
It sounds however like your mum's a bit out of her depth with the whole thing.
My Mum thinks that my illness is caused 100% by her and my father splitting up. I told her schizophrenia is 50% environmental and 50% biochemical, and then I told her about dopamine etc. She yelled at me when I mentioned the dopamine problem. I said "if the medication helps, then it must be dopamine", and she just continued to yell at me. She thinks that if I wasn't stressed out about exams, I would never get schizophrenia, when in reality, I developed it when my life wasn't that stressful or hard.
My school are very helpful indeed. They make a lot of allowances for my illness, and even when I got into big trouble, they had meetings and decided to keep me.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
