Triggering (SI) - My friend is worried

[madamoiselle]

So I have been hurting myself quite badly these few weeks that my right arm looks horribly horrible. The scars are quite obvious and red and all that a close friend of mine began telling me that she feels hopless and upset whenever she sees another scar on my arm. At first, I was kind of surprised that someone would actually care about me. But now I am starting to feel guilty for causing her to feel this way. I can see that her concern for me is real, she even said that she felt like crying whenever she sees my arm. What can I say to her to make her feel better? I feel like a selfish monster.

[mydarkerside]

Does your friend understand why you feel you need to cut? Shes sounds like a good friend anyway, it is hard when your on the outside, she probably just wants to protect you. I don't know what advice to give to you except to talk to her. Sorry if im not much help.

Take care xx

[madamoiselle]

I myself do not know the reason why I cut. I just know that it helps me feel better everytime I feel like my strong emotions might just choke me to death. I feel bad to put someone under so much worry. Is this how my parents might react too?

Maybe, yes, but all parents are different.
*hug*
Just tell her you're sorry, but you can't help it? Explain that you know that she's looking out for you & you're really grateful, but it makes you feel a bit bleh? Gently, don't accuse her or anything.

*hughug*

Sorry, that was really bad. PM if you wanna talk more. x

[madamoiselle]

I just hope it does not reach the point where she starts threatening that our friendship is over if I dont stop any time soon =(

[popcorn]

It sounds like she's concerned about you and cares about you. I think it can be hard for somebody to be friends with somebody who hurts him/herself. They see you and are upset because you are hurting and they don't want you to be. I think it's good to know that somebody cares about you-- because you are a person worth caring about, who doesn't deserve to be hurt-- but it's not good (and your friend wouldn't want) for you to wind up feeling worse because of her expressing her caring. You can maybe tell her that you appreciate her concern and caring, and people also like to know what they can do to be helpful. My partner feels much better if I can give her concrete things to do when she sees me having a hard time.
I'm sorry that you are hurting yourself so badly. Do you have a therapist or someone who can help you figure out how to manage things without hurting yourself? I know it can feel like the emotions will kill you, but you really can get through difficult feelings without hurting yourself. I hope that you can get some help, here and/or elsewhere.

Take care.

[madamoiselle]

Thanks!