telling?

[Graphite]

Well hmm i guess a little background would be a good thing.

Sooo i used to self harm quiet a bit, but havn't badly for years and years, couple small slips some time last year i guess but anyway.

never really bothered telling anyone who i was particularly afraid of being rejected due to scars that remain.

I have used anti scar stuff for a few years, and it helped some i guess, but anyway recently i started dating this guy, hes real cute and all but we havn't become intimate yet, and im not sure how to tell him about the scar thing haha.

I don't want him to see his bf and be shocked or disgusted or something. Sooo yea whats best way of going about this little conversation? :P

[mi92186]

First off, kudos for not cutting in so long! That's really an amazing thing.

Secondly, I think you should tell your gf when the time is right, and only if you feel comfortable doing so. You should wait and make sure that you two are really together for real. When you have decided this, then maybe you could approach her by telling her that you have had some problems in the past. Tell her what you used to feel and the struggles you used to go through. Then tell her that in order to handle them, you cut yourself. Make sure she knows you don't do it anymore and that it is a thing of the past. Hopefully she will understand that it is not something to worry about any longer. She may not fullly understand everything you did and why, but that's not important because not many people do understand people who SI. But she needs to understand that you are healthy now and doing good. Good luck and God bless!!!

[Deepest Blue]

Hi Graphite,

I think honesty is always the best policy as the saying goes, get it out in the open from the onset so that you don't have to worry about it later if you two become very close. I am sure he will understand and be supportive of you, just say it's something that you've had to come to terms with first before you felt comfortable in telling others.

Good luck and I hope it works out fine.
Take Care.

[still hurting]

just do it, i mean like if you're starting to get more intimate or if you having a bad day and talking or even if your in the care somewhere, just find any opportunity you get to say "i have something i need to tell you about when i was younger" or somehtign, anythign really.

when people used to seem my scars i'd just tell them that i used to cut but not anymore. some people were upset by it, but mostly my parents and people who were in my life at the time and just didnt know.

[xXMessedUpXx]

I think for me the moment of telling came when my bf asked, "whats that on your leg?" perhaps not the most tactful of things but i just told him. I said i used to, and still kind of do SH but i'm trying to stop. And that was that really.

Not that im saying just blurt it out, but try not to build it up to much, cos the bigger deal you make out of it, the harder it will be to eventually tell him. Or maybe start up a little discussion...see what his views are?

hope things work out

[Graphite]

Thanks for your advice all , i really appreciate it

Tomorrow will be the day he sees them, i've choosen to let him find out naturally instead of a big conversation as it seems more natural. Plus i may not have to open up to all the questions a face to face would bring.

I'll let you all know here how it goes haha.

thanks for your input again!

[Misunderstood.]

good luck! if hes worth being with he will accept u for who u r and u can just tell him its something u used to do, i rele it hope it goes well for u hon,..let us know =)

xxxX Catherine