For me it depends on WHY I'm cutting. If it's because I feel numb thenI do feel the pain. If it's beause I want to take the pain away from my head the I do feel the pain. If I want to bleed to make sure i'm still alaive then I don't.
Everytime it's different...
~*~ Courage does not always Roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow~*~
faith_may is my big sister on RYL<3
*Fallen*Stars* is my aunt on RYL <3
Silent is my big sister on RYL <3
Shattered is my little sister on RYL <3
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
pain and pleasure go arm in arm. i like pain. there's always pain when i cut, but it's not a pain that makes you wish it was gone.
ahhh so doesn't make sense.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
I feel the pain, usually distantly, when I cut. But after a while, it stings and aches. For about two days afterwards, the cuts are tender and red. But I don't feel distinct pain when I actually make the cut.
I may only seem to be a drunken,
vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels.
But I know about art and love,
if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.
I don't feel pain during the time I'm SIing, just feel either relief, satisfaction, or...nothing (in a sense, can't explain). But usually later, I have the usual annoying stuff that goes with a healing wound.
I used to be in the position where i didn't feel the pain. I'd completely blank out when I was cutting to the point where I didn't know what I'd just done and didn't feel any of it. Now I do feel the pain. That helps deter me now.
Sometimes I feel the pain, and it makes me angry and frustrated, so I try to endure it for as long as I can, and I try to keep cutting until I don't feel it anymore. Sometimes I don't feel it at all, and I get really relaxed like I could just fall asleep instantly. Sometimes I don't feel it and i get really upset, so I keep cutting until I do feel it. I guess that is pretty nuts.
I think it really hurts. Especially if I've gone quite deep. But I feel like I deserve it to hurt that much, and the more it hurts, the more blood there will be. I guess that's what I'm aiming for. To hurt myself and see the blood to prove it to myself.
Okay THAT made no sense.
My apologies. x
Do it for those who know you can and for those who think you can’t.
at first yes, but after a few mins i tend to be numb. then after maybe half hours or so it starts to hurt again. I'm not sure if its the adrenaline. I think i kind of went into shock last time but again i didnt really feel the pain. I do think sometimes i should. Maybe itd deter me if i did?
Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up
If I've gone a day of suffering, or maybe a couple days without cutting, the first maybe 3 are pretty dead to me, I don't feel them and they're usually deep, and then once I've just released myself from the pressure they start hurting more and more, until the point where I have to stop.
before i was in recovery, it never ever hurt, didn't feel a thing. and after five months i had a slip up, and it was the worst pain i've ever felt in my life.
Last SI: March 1st 2008
Before that: September 29th, 2007
I have the detached, far away, dull pain... it hurts, but it's like i get totally depersonalized when I do and I feel absolutely nothing but a dull, far away ache... like I'm just aching, watching someone else bleed and be in pain, like it's not me... Atleast, most of the time... sometimes it's just a momentary sting, then nothing... but... usually it's what I described above. Hope that made sense. I used to feel the pain and love it... but it's been so long since I started, that now I just go numb to it... I don't know.. it's really hard to describe.. :(
Last edited by sicknessdollie : 05-03-2008 at 04:46 AM.
Reason: typo
it hurts initially. like right when i'm in the act it does hurt, but as soon as i finish the cut and right before it starts to bleed, it really does feel good. i just feel this immense relief and all of me relaxes in that instant. sometimes it'll sting a little the next day, but it doesn't bother me, i like it, it helps me realize that i'm still here....
"Risking your life and doing something that could rob you of your life are exact opposites."
"You must believe in yourself, follow your path without fear."
"Her eyes are so dark and deep, like you could be sucked in. It's like she knows everything..."
"...we'll transcend time... to live again, perhaps this time... we'll find happiness..."
I have never felt pain when I did and thought maybe there was something wrong with me... It only stung when I put water on it.... But I guess I'm not the only one who doesn't feel pain.
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
I feel a slight quick rush of intense pain followed by a burning sensation & sensation of the blood pumping hard which is kind of comforting, the pain never lasts long for me & I don't always feel pain depends on the type of blade I've used & how deep I've cut & Where I was, When it was, Who I was with, another words the general atmosphere around me & whether I was intoxicated in any way when I did it.
I don't feel pain exactly, like I can feel the metal on my skin but it doesn't hurt. If I go to far or I cut a nerve or something it'll hurt for a second, but then it's fine.
~*~ Courage does not always Roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow~*~
faith_may is my big sister on RYL<3
*Fallen*Stars* is my aunt on RYL <3
Silent is my big sister on RYL <3
Shattered is my little sister on RYL <3
I guess that is pretty nuts.
