Graphic / Triggering - slip up after 13 months...

cobinrapner · 04-03-2008, 05:07 PM

i was 13 months free and i cut last night. i dont want to start all over. i worked so hard. it wasn't a bad cut. i bled a little but not too bad. but i just don't want it to keep happening. i'm not telling anyone. i really just want to pretend it never happened. but i have the bracelets up to a year. and i'm trying to decide if i should start all over with them. i dunno..

Hollz · 04-03-2008, 07:11 PM

Look hunni, try not to be too hard on yourself - 13 months is a fantastic acheivement. Okay so you had a slip up, you are doign really really well though and should be so proud of yourself.

Take care x

Cazki · 04-03-2008, 11:53 PM

Hiya there im very sorry that your having such a difficult time right now. *Gives you a big hug* Everything will be ok, i know that what your going through isnt easy but it doesnt mean that you cant get through this. Could you talk to us about what it is thats made you feel like this? Do you have any support at all? (If you have one) have you spoken to your counseller how your feeling? Im so sorry for the pain that your going through.

You can get through this please dont give up please keep fighting through this. Things wont be like this forever, things will get better. Be gentle with yourself try not to be too hard on yourself as that will only create problems. We are all here for you and we will support you for as long as you need it. We all care about you so much. Slipping up is part of recovery though and we all have slip ups but this does not mean that you have failed and that you should give up on recovery.

No one wants to see you get hurt anymore than what you already are, that includes me other people here, and your friends and family. I know that things are not good for you now but they wont always be like this.

Have you thought about writing down your thoughts and feelings? Its important that if you do decide to write down your thoughts and feelings that you combine both the positive things and the negative things together so that you dont end up writing down just the negative things on there own. Make sure that you keep safe, none of us want to see you get hurt any more than what you already are you dont deserve it.

Please keep distracting yourself as much as you possibly can, there are lots of things that you can try here are some of them, listening to music, doing jobs to keep you busy, watching a movie, going for a walk and posting on the fun and distractions forum. Please keep talking to us, you dont have to go through this all on your own, we are here for you. Please take care its important that you look after yourself.

Take care best wishes Ian

cobinrapner · 05-03-2008, 07:19 AM

The reason I cut again was because I've fallen completely in love with one of my best friends. I kept listening to the song Nicest Thing by Kate Nash and I just couldn't handle it anymore. It's so hard having these feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way back. But she's one of my best friends so I don't want to distance myself from her.

I also don't want to talk to her about this because I don't want to burden her. I'm going to see my counselor on Thursday and I'll tell her about it. All of my friends know I have a history of cutting but I didn't tell any that I had a slip up. Although I think my best friend saw my cut tonight. I'm kind of hoping that she did so I don't have to tell her. I think she also saw my scissors near my bed. We'll see what happens..

Jelly Head · 05-03-2008, 10:01 AM

Like you said, it's so hard knowing how much you love someone when they don't love you back.
I'm going through exactly the same thing with my best friend at the moment. It's not easy.
It's ok that you slipped up. It happens. Just turn it around to a positive and say, hey, well, i've only cut once in 13 months; Thats still a massive acheivement.
Keep your chin up.
Take care .xx

Gem