Have you ever had a doctor disregard your depression/mental illness? Any advice?

Tanya B · 11-06-2007, 01:50 PM

This is very unfamiliar to me, as I've never seen anyone about my depression, so any help you can give me would be hugely appreciated. My mum suffers from depression, but it's not something that's spoken about a lot in my house. My mum vary rarely admits to it, and over the years I've only been able to patch together a very rough image of her situation.

When we lived in England, she was diagnosed with clinical depression and was on prozac for a few years, before she decided that it wasn't helping in the slightest. She went on without medication and continued speaking to her GP about it - I'm not sure if she was actually referred to/saw a therapist of not, she's only ever briefly mentioned this part. When she moved back to Scotland, her depression got worse and as far as I knew, she never saw anyone about it.

I was speaking to my dad yesterday, trying to get some answers, and he told me that almost 10 years ago when we moved here, she did go to our new GP. She was told to "pull herself together" and both of the doctors she saw basically disregarded her depression as something that would pass in time, and made out like she was over-reacting. This made her feel so dreadful that she's refusing to ever try and get help again, and it made her feel that maybe she was imagining all of this, which in turn destroyed any confidence she'd built up. I can't believe that. It's disgraceful. Surely a doctor must take a patient seriously, and not tell them to "pull yourself together"? Has anyone experienced this before? Am I over-reacting in being so angry about this? Is there any way she could seek help from elsewhere?

I just can't believe that when someone who suffers from such horrible depression gathers all their courage to seek help from a strange and unfamiliar person and setting, that they are rejected and not taken seriously. Gah.

ihatethereforeiam · 11-06-2007, 09:12 PM

I know how you and your mother feels, it's only until you suffer from deppression that you know how it actually feels, like something that you can't just simply 'snap' out of.
I remember my brother (he's bipolar, used to have psychosis and delusions and that jazz) telling me that when he was with his psychiatrist, when talking about how he wanted a girlfriend, the shrink said to just "go out and pull" and encouraged getting drunk.
I understand that doctors have alot of patients to see, but to say that to someone with a mental illness no matter how serious, to just dismiss it won't help.
I hope your mum finds the right help, and finds someone willing to provide it.
Take care x

Enelya · 11-06-2007, 10:25 PM

Hey!
I´ve been in quite a similar situation...
One of the - many - doctors I´ve been to actually didn´t understand how bad I was feeling because of my depression.
I left and didn´t return.
For some months I refused to look for anyone new to help me, but finally I did and I found a better doctor.
It´s hard not to give up in such a situation, but I made it because a friend of mine kept encouraging me to look for a better doctor.
Kiss, Liz

Tanya B · 12-06-2007, 10:26 AM

Thanks, at least it's not just my mum who's experiencing this. OrlandosGirl, how did you go about looking for another doctor? Did you have to re-register and all that shizzle?

Cathy · 12-06-2007, 10:46 AM

Ohh, Tan. *hugs for you*.

Yeah, it's happened to me, too.
Not with depression, but with other mental shiz.

My doctor patronised me, bastard.

Ami · 12-06-2007, 10:52 AM

Mine was great thankfully, otherwise i'd have probabaly died on the spot - literally.

Thats a horribel thing to happen to anyone :(
*hugs* x

Tanya B · 12-06-2007, 11:16 AM

Thanks guys x

spoonfulofsugar · 12-06-2007, 12:55 PM

I have never actually had it that bad just sometimes feel like they don't (want to) understand just how bad I feel. Calling it "low mood" and "feeling a bit anxious". My sister however was told there was nothing wrong with her, just normal teenage stuff. They completely dismissing it off hand. To me it just seems it would be better to "waste time" on someone than just telling them to pull themselves together...

All I can say is it's worth it to keep trying no matter how hopeless it seems. Even though I know thats easier said than done!

Take care!
xS

Synthetic_Rag_Doll · 13-06-2007, 04:38 AM

I got diagnosed with Bipolar at 14, none of my doctors disregarded it. I was lucky. My mom changed insurances and I had to see a new guy. He disregarded my anxiety/panic attacks. He gave me a book to read, and told me I just need to get over it. I read the book, I tried to go out more. I still had problems and his associate gave me Klonopin a small dose. It didn't help very much with my anxiety. So when I was hospitalized in October of last year he took me off the Klonopin and loaded me up with anti-depressants, they didn't help my anxiety and I got manic. He said "Well since you don't leave your house you don't need any Klonopin." Failing to realize that I still have panic attack at home.

December I got a great doctor. I was put on 2mg of Xanax 4 times a day, that did the trick! But when I turned 18 I lost my insurance and had to stop seeing him.

I hope your mom finds somebody who understands her and can treat her.

random.swirls · 13-06-2007, 08:46 AM

I think it is common and it sucks.

So often Drs. dont know enough about mental illness or time is limited and waiting lists long that specialist help can take years and so they just prescribe anti depressants and hope that they work.

There are some absolute gems of Drs. out there and if you dont get an appropriate response at first then try and get a second opinion - I know this may be too late for your mum Tanya but hopefully she may consider it?

xoxox

distant_yellow · 13-06-2007, 05:25 PM

Ive actually had many doctors just give me the back of their hand telling me that it isnt as bad as it really is. There are some who will never listen. I hope your mom finds someone who will help.

eidoj · 13-06-2007, 06:34 PM

I also think this is a common problem and it really is unacceptable, I think that the reason that mental health is still a taboo subject has a lot to do with people being made to feel inferior by someone who is supposed to understand and help them.

When I was 17, before I really fell deeply in to the cycle of depression, s.i, etc I was told by a doctor that it was "just my age", "keep my chin up" and "it's just a phase". 5 years later and I am only just starting to gather up enough courage to seek help again for fear of being told it's all in my head. A few flippant remarks from someone who should have known better have, I feel, drastically changed the direction of my life.

Bleeding Angel · 13-06-2007, 06:53 PM

yeah ive been told that basically it was my fault and i had to get help on my own, they wouldnt give me medication and sent me on my merry way.

Fortantly when i saw another doctor they were alot better

willow · 14-06-2007, 06:36 PM

Thats terrible and it just shouldn't happen.

I'm lucky, I've always been given treatment, but there are some who just don't understand. You have to be really strong and try someone else.

There definatley is help out there if you get the right person.

Enelya · 14-06-2007, 10:04 PM

@ Tanya B:
Yes, I had to go through all kind of paper work, but I simply couldn´t cope with being "treated" by a person like this "doctor"(I think, she´s not deserved to be called that way...).
Kiss, Liz

dying__deep__inside · 17-06-2007, 03:08 AM

I told my psychiatrist that my therapist and I think that I MIGHT be bipolar, not depressed.

He told me that he doesn't want to give me any labels.

However, I've been labeled as depressed since the first time I went to the ER in January of this year.

And the last time I saw him, he called me a sadomasochist.

I HATE him and my mom does too.

However, I don't see me getting a better psychiatrist anytime soon and I have to see him tomorrow morning.:[

Aidee · 17-06-2007, 08:07 AM

This is something that I find very interesting for several reasons. In the US there are almost no official regulations outlining what a doctor has to do if his/her personal opinions conflict with their training. Many people, for various reasons, including religious, do not believe that mental illness exist. So if you are a general practice doctor, how to you provide your patients the best care when you don't even believe that a whole category of medicine is legitimate?

It's also interesting from the opposite stand point, where people assume that doctors and other health care workers don't have personal opinions about some things. So when they encounter these opinions they are totally flabbergasted and take it personally. It might not be that a doctor doesn't believe that you personally have a mental illness, the doctor might just not believe they exist at all.

In short, I'm sorry that this happened to your mother, and I hope that she, and anyone else who has had a bad experience can someday gain the confidence to try again becuase not everyone treats things the same.

AD

sherlock holmes · 17-06-2007, 12:09 PM

I've seen lot of doctors who disregarded my depression. Even a psychiatrist disregarded it, the day after I was in A&E seeing the on call psych for being extremely suicidal.

I've been told "it's a phase" a lot of times because of my age. Been told I just think too negatively.

My diagnoses now are kind of patchy, but at least my psychiatrist does think I have depression.

drackisses · 26-06-2007, 02:43 AM

See, this is why I am absolutely, completely terrified of seeing someone about my possible depression. I mean, it's very likely I have it, I think, but what if they say it's just because of my hormones, my age? I'm not sure what I would do, because then it's just been my fault all along for doing these things and acting this way. Eeek :(

At any rate, I think your mom should try another doctor, it seems a lot of people believe you should just keep trying. Good luck, I hope she can find someone to listen :)

ceapach · 26-06-2007, 03:41 AM

I haven't been diagnosed with anything mentally...
but my doctor has disregarded everything I have ever brought up to her about my physical health since I started back with her when I was...8?10?
Anyway, I stopped telling everyone that I was constantly in pain, etc...until I went to the ER and got referrals for other doctors. I recently scheduled my check up with another doctor and thought he was much more helpful and all, I still feel that it is hard to talk to doctors for fear of being put down.

Good Luck with your mom. I recommend finding another doctor. Hopefully they will be better.