Triggering (SI) - just saw some cutting in a tv show. now i'm having freak outs and flash backs

cobinrapner · 26-02-2008, 07:02 AM

i was watching the L word online. i'm not sure if anyone is familiar with it. but there's a character, Jenny, who's kind of dark. she seemed to be having some trouble with herself. but i didn't even see it coming until she took a razor blade out. her housemate, shane, walked in on her after she cut. there were so many cuts on her leg. my cuts were never that bad but i freaked out, closed the computer and ran out of my room. i came back and my friends asked me what was wrong and i just said something in the show freaked me out. they all know i used to cut. but i didn't tell them it happened in the show. then my friend Elise texted me asking if everything was ok. i told her i would be fine. i don't want anyone to worry. even my best friend. maybe i'll tell her when my roommate isn't here..

but Jenny cut herself in the bathroom. one of my nightmares is me cutting again in the bathroom. i just freaked out. i was in such a good mood today too. and that just kinda brought me down. now i'm all quiet. i really just want to cry and i want someone to hold me. but nothing happened. but i know that's all i'm going to think about tonight. wonderful. my heart is beating really fast. shit..

Liandre · 26-02-2008, 08:04 AM

Yeah, I flipped when House cut. You will get triggers on tv more now that cutting is more in the open. Change the channel. ~~~Lia

effervescence · 26-02-2008, 08:19 AM

hey, that sucks, I remember when I watched something and the lead character cut herself my parents were in the room and they started making comments bout how cutting was so horrible and they could never imagine anyone being able to do it (they don;t know anything about me lol) and i felt quite sick and really wanted to just run away and cry but i couldnt. try not to let it bother you, i know thats easy to say but like Liandre said there will be more triggers now cutting is more out in the open. I dont know, maybe if you see that occasionly it will strengthen you as you learn to see someone cutting and not let t bother you - just think to yourself, "i am strong, i can deal with this and face up to it, its a part of my life, but thats ok cos i can handle my past". oh and well done on 13 months thats great!!

abba12 · 26-02-2008, 11:54 AM

I remember the episode when house cut. it was before my parents really knew, and before the voice that cuts me left i beleive, or just after. im sitting there trying not to lose it, while theyre going on about 'oh what a fucking wimp, and how dare they put that on TV, giving people ideas. thats so stupid, he deserves to die, she shouldnt have helped him'

then again, its not like they react any differant to that stuff now...

its hard to see triggers like that, but you gotta remember its not real. the people who wrote that wouldnt cut, you shouldnt either. be brave

Liandre · 26-02-2008, 09:03 PM

House is a tv show that was meant to be shocking. He is an admitted drug addict, he cuts himself, uses himself as a guinea pig, and he is a misanthropist (hates or distrusts all people). If your peeps don't like the show then maybe they need to change the channel. Or you can offer to put a parental block on for them? Sorry I don't like opionated people much, they lack understanding because they never listen. I used to be a drug addict I still cut and I have a tendency to be misanthropic.

Here is a lovely saying for judgmental people (heard often at NA meetings), "Opinions are like a$$holes, everybodys got one and they all stink! : ) ~~~Liandre