self harm and relationships

[Spoons]

Ok, all those in relationships, how did the topic of self harm sort of arise. what sort of reactions did you get?

basically started a new relationship, nothing serious yet but im not sure how to bring up the fact that my arms are more scars than skin. its not like they are not going to be seen, of course they will.

but i should bring it up before they are seen?
how did the people you were seeing/ are seeing react to self harm.

should i just come out right and say look i self harm and get it out of the way, then if he doesnt react well atleast ill know.

any advice? or experiences?

any replies would be much appreciated.

[green.eyes]

not much use right now but i'd tell them before they see.
explain it on your own terms. let them know why and tell them you'd appreciate support or however you'd like them to react. better that than being put on the spot and getting flustered/stressed.
good lucjk
take care

[pedro]

be honest about it, and if they cant deal with it get rid of them!! you have to be open with a potential longterm partner, no easy anwsers im afraid, keep it light hearted when you tell them and i wouldnt go on about it for to long le tthem take it in and give them a couple of days then talk about it again , gives them time to let it sink in and research what its all about. good luck

[sopranonut]

I would be honest and tell them first before they see, otherwise they might be shocked when they see your scars. And honesty is always best if you want a healthy relationship.
I know it's quite scary though, Good luck.

[N.Bluth]

I told my boyfriend because I didn't want either of us to get in too deeply before he knew. He took it really well and was glad that I had trusted him with something so delicate. It helped us get closer in so many ways and I'm glad I did it because showing him that he deserved the honesty sort of let him know that I was ready to get more serious. My boyfriend has been amazing and helped me stop (SI free since August 07!!). I'm not saying we never fell out over it, or that it was easy all the time, but it was definitely right for me to tell him. Hope this helps, and good luck, whatever you decide xx

[Jellihejj]

well my boyfriend was my friend before i got with him, so he already knew about it anyway. in fact he lied that he did it too as a way to gain "common ground" with me. but if i was you, i would just let them know sooner rather than later. i don't think they'd appreciate it if you had this big secret and felt you couldn't turn to them, especially if this relationship does blossom and grow. i'm sure you'd want them to tell you things that they have as secrets, and i'm sure you'd both want feel you can trust one another. if the reaction isn't so good and understanding, then it's better you found out sooner than maybe a couple of months down the line.

[godchild]

if ur gonna tell your partner don't tip toe around if if u get what i mean. if they are truelly interested in you then they will not let it come between u, theres something u should know self harm is around a lot im not saying its popular to do it, its just a lot of people do it. so for all u know they might have done it before or might still be doing it. unfortunently i think ur going to have to bite the bullet and tell them.