I'm under the crisis team. They're called CATT - crisis assessment treatment team. A nurse visits me daily. I've been under their care for a week and have met 11 members of their team already despite them insisting I need continuity. I'm not really ok. I try to tell them the truth but it's hard because I am seeing a new person each day and I'm not able to build a relationship. The one person I can be honest with is my therapist. I told her the complete truth in our session today. She thinks I should be in hospital. My previous (private) psychiatrist recommended I be in hospital. She sent me to A&E and asked the NHS hospital to admit me. Some health professionals want me admitted, others don't - they can't seem to agree;. It's not about me, it's all about the money. I live in a **** area for adult mental health.
My main problems right now are bipolar affective disorder (depressive episode), OCD and PTSD. I'm on a lot of medication (lamotrigine, risperidone, zopiclone, lorazepam and just started citalopram). As I said, some of the team feel I need to be in hospital to stabilise my meds. I am getting worse...nightmares, horrible flashbacks and I am more suicidal than ever. I keep making plans and each time, they become more detailed and serious. I guess a normal response to this would be "you NEED to be in hospital" but I live in the UK, it'd be on an NHS psych ward. I can't imagine it being the right place for me. Aren't most of the patients severely mentally unwell? I am not. The bed would be better off going to someone else.
I was in hospital a few weeks ago, but it made me worse and worse. I went privately because I was under the private healthcare system but discharged myself. This led me private psychiatrist to send me to A&E and insist upon another admission. I am scared as hell. I am more scared of being IP than I am of dying. I feel I am the wrong person to make this decision. I want to curl up in a little ball and die quietly in a corner. I am frightened to open myself up to the crisis team because I'm scared of being admitted.
Would I benefit from being there? I didn't get better in hospital in January. I'm not getting better whilst under CATT. Could it make me worse? Am I really in need of a hospitalisation? How the hell do I get myself to open up and be honest?
I really don't have any advice or much support to offer as I have never been in your situation. Im sitting on the other side of the fence right now as I'm about to start a placement on an acute psychiatric ward (am a student nurse) and I can't imagine that for the patients it is a particularly nice place to be. However, a lot of those patients don't have terrible experiences and they DO get better (as ***** as the NHS can be). I can't suggest either going to hospital or not but hope things get better.
On a regular (by this I mean not a secure ward) adult NHS ward, the people there are usually not completely lost cases. You might even form a friendship there. I formed a friendship in one, although it didn't last for long after I left. Although on adult wards, there is very little that they give you to do, so I would say bring a LOT of books, music, things you like doing etc. Otherwise you will feel even worse.
Some of the nurses can be ****ing arseholes, but some of the others can be very helpful and kind. There's usually a 1:1 ratio of the two.
The food is awful though.
Um..
I haven't actually been on a regular adult NHS ward, but I've been on an adolescent regular ward, and an adult secure ward. Secure wards are traumatising, but regular wards are much better.
What area in the UK do you live in? I can research the services if you want.
Good luck,
SM
if the crisis team are saying you need to be hospitalized they are the professionals if u do get worse in hospital they are the people to sort you out. think shud before something serious happens.
if you wanna talk babe i know where your cumming from just pm me and we can chat on here or msn just let me know if u r safe k.
luv cheryl xx
Thank you. There are 3 wards which I could be admitted to. I've been an OP at 2 of them. They look scary!
Which ones are they if you don't mind? I could have a look and give my honest opinion (I'm quite an experienced IP).
At the end of the day, the wards are there to help you get better.
And get better you will.
Hugs,
SM
I'm an inpatient at the moment on an nhs acute adult ward. You can pm if you want to know anything or have any questions i'll be happy to help.
Basically if they think you need it you probably do and it may help.
I'm slowly realising its best to be honest or else people can't help you properly and you won't get he right treatment which in the long term will delay your recovery.
*hugs*
Don't know about that, just spent too long fighting the people trying to help me. It just ends with more and longer hospital admissions.
Thanks though :) xx
I spent a long time in an NHS adult psych, so much so that it became more like a home to me (sadly). I found out the hard way that no matter how much you fight it, you won't be free of a place like that until you're honest with them and yourself. The only person who can truly help you is yourself, others e.g doctors etc are just there to show you how and help keep you stabalised for you to be able to help yourself.
I made friends on the adult ward and i was the youngest person there. It can seem very scary at first but you'll see that even the serverly mentally unwell people have 'normal' personalities - they're just harder to see.
Also if you don't make the decision yourself someone will make it for you, but if they think it's best then there is obviously a reason they're thinking that so perhaps it may be best to try it. Better to be an informal patient than a sectioned one eh?
i was in the same situation last November, I ended up being admitted at my local hospital after 5-6 A+E visits in the space of 2 weeks, it did me a world of good, i came a out a completely different person, I really owe my life to the ward, if i hadnt gone in i wouldnt be here today. Sometimes you just have to take that chance in life and be brave, i wish all the best and if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me anytime. The crisis team were helpful to me but as soon as i said i was feeling better they discharged me so sfast.
I was the youngest person there too, but everyone was soo nice and helpful. it was a real eye opener just seeing how ill some of these people were, i decided i didnt want to be 30, 40, 50 years old and still in services (as some of them were)
i was in the same situation last November, I ended up being admitted at my local hospital after 5-6 A+E visits in the space of 2 weeks, it did me a world of good, i came a out a completely different person, I really owe my life to the ward, if i hadnt gone in i wouldnt be here today. Sometimes you just have to take that chance in life and be brave, i wish all the best and if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me anytime. The crisis team were helpful to me but as soon as i said i was feeling better they discharged me so sfast.
take care XX
That is how I feel. If it wasn't for the adolescent ward, I would not be alive today.
