Triggering (SI) - i cant do this, in need to run where theres no one, i need help

[gorybalamory]

i just lost it at fiancee. i had to physically restrain my self from hitting her. i dont know why. i lost my ipod and she came to help and all i remember is me shouting at her telling her to **** off. ive already cut but its not enuf. i just want to run away from everything. she actually thort i was actually guna hurt her. im soo ****ing stuipid. ive locked my self in my room, ive trashed it.ive got angry before but never like this. i wana hurt so much,to punish my self. i need help. i cant live around myself. i dont know what to do.help!

[gorybalamory]

thankyou for posting:) it means alot.
im going to the doctors tomo with kyz to see what help i get get in all areas.
the only thing is i dont want to get her involved cos i dont want to upset her but i cant do it without her. catch 22 and a half lol

[strawberry snow]

Have you asked her if she wants to be involved? I bet she'd say yes!

You did really well to restrain yourself. Have you found anything that helped before? Like a punchbag, going for a run, ripping boxes apart?
Can you spot the moment the anger's begining to take hold of you?- then you can remove yourself from the situation before you frighten others.

I think anger management sounds like a good idea though. And good luck with the Doctors! It's awesome that your so ready to confront this =)

sSx

[madamoiselle]

Hey there. Glad that you are brave enough to seek help. There's nothing wrong with it. It may sound like a cliche but trying to close your eyes and breath loudly in and out can really calm you down. It definitely works for me. Take care, friend

[Tallie]

i dont know, this might be completely irrelevant.
but...sometimes in situations like this i feel i need to be in control, if that makes sense. like because its my thing thats been lost i should be in charge of finding it. and if anyone steps in the way of that i do get really irritable about it.
i think its like an independance thing or something.
im glad that youve decided to get help about this, and i do hope the help works (:
keeps us updated with whats going on

[gorybalamory]

i like the idea bout tearing up boxes, that sounds like fun. the doctor ive got tomo is relly nice and he will be able to get me anger management i hope
tankyou everyone