if there were no consequences and no one else mattered, i would never stop cutting. but there are.
my bf is visiting in 2 days and i definately cant cut before then or i will not get to see him (cuz they will keep me at the hospital)
as soon as he leaves im in trouble. the only thing i am trying to do in my life right now is get into SAFE ALternatives so whats the difference if i cut or not.
i got all my stitches out now
i really hope SAFE accepts me and soon because i dont know what to do with myself anymore.
i dont care much about anything but just cutting. its pretty bad.
sigh.
any support would be welcomed.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - pooh bear
i really struggling. everyones trying to talk me out of cutting, but its all i care to do right now. i dont think anything can talk me out of it. and my bf is coming to town in two days and what willhappen if they hospitalize me? ugh. i need help !
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - pooh bear
hey hun, I am sorry things are so tough right now. Try to focus on how much you want to see your boyfriend and get strength and hope from that as hard as it seems. You have done so well not cutting and you should be proud of yourself.
Sorry to hear your struggling so much les. Has anything triggered you to feel like this? I know its hard but try and distract yourself as much as you can, go for a walk, have a bath, watch a movie, draw, write, try and keep your hands busy too. Have you got anyone who can come and sit with you? Or someone you can call so they can help you through this. Keep talking on here if that helps. Try and focus on the fact that your boyfriend is coming and let that help you through. Take care
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
i tried all my distraction stuff. gave my stuffed monkey a washing, ate, wrote, came here, watched tv, etc. tried calling a hotline who referred me somewhere else who couldnt help me. tried calling the case manager oncall, same story. if i could just get out of my building i would cut for sure, but staff knows that so is keeping close tabs on me. i might try to take my night meds early and just go to sleep, but then when i wake up who's to say things will be any better. just i guess i wont have the option to go out. sigh.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - pooh bear
Well done for trying to distract yourself. Maybe taking your night meds a lil bit earlier would help. You never know things may look better in the morning after a good nights sleep
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
as things are right now im just not ready to stop cutting. but no one will see it. they are threatening me with the hospital etc, but that doesnt help me at all. the only reason i have to stop for now is my bf visiting this weekend. but after that then what. then im holding everything to get into SAFE ALternatives. otherwise i cant imagine anything stopping me. i just get pissed and am like stop telling me to stop i dont want to. i still get too much benefit from it.
does anyone understand?
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - pooh bear
i am annoyed with my situation because i want to cut so badly but i have no chance. no sharps, they will catch me if i go out, i will miss seeing my bf. i am honestly counting down til after his visit so i can cut and then i dont care if i get stuck in the hospital. i mean my bigger goal is to get into SAFE, but til then, i need cutting, but the people in my life arent letting me have that. sometimes it sucks having people 'care'
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - pooh bear
i see my bf tonight after a couple months. my arm is way more messed up, ive had 4 large sets of stitches since then. im worried what he will say/do. but i told him and he seems to be ok, but things can seem different in real life than just hearing about it.sigh. im scared.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - pooh bear
my bf is having trouble getting out of work, so hes still a good 5 hours from getting here. i honestly am almost even about to cut now. i am really struggling.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - pooh bear
did you get to see your boyfriend? I hope so, and i hope you had a good time. Please keep trying not to cut. If you end up in hospital then use all the support there is for you there. I've heard about safe (it's featured in the book A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong). It sounds a good place but tough. Can you not do therapy as an outpatient?
