Hey all, i just thought that it would be nice for those of us who care/have cared for family members to have a thread to talk to each other and give each other support. I dont know whether there are any people here who have got family members who are disabled but i thought id post this and see.
I have 2 disabled brothers aged 22 and 20, they have a rare genetic disorder called Jouberts Syndrome and are two of the eldest surviving in England.
I helped my mum care for them from the age of 7 when my dad left until they went to a residential school. When they come home they still need a lot of care but its easier on my mum who is disabled herself.
My mum have scoliosis (curveture of the spine), degenerative discs and arthritis so its all a bit manic in my family...lol! But still, theres a bit about my family.
Feel free to post, i think it would be a great source of support for those of us with disability in the family be it physical or mental.
Gemz x
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
I am not a young carer but I think its lovely what you do to help loved ones. My nan was disabled and couldnt get out of the house so my parents cared for her at home. I know how tough it is and also my grandad had dementure and we sort of cared for him at home but it was hard cos he was so stubborn and refused to believe there was anything wrong with him, when he was too blind to drive he still insisted on keeping his car and driving so we had to take it off him. 8l
Its very hard but it was the only way they could stay at home and not be moved to a residential home which neither of them wanted at all, ever.
PM me if you ever want to chat, or need some support. :)
x Marie x
L_M_G is my mummy :) inkerman and razorbladedarling are my two non-identical twin sprogs (concieved on same day) Scabette< cos she has the cutest puppy dog eyes and i cant resist!feeling-afraid< my bottle of glitter!! which i just have to have :Pmidnight stars< my gorgeous sister, whom i love to bits ;) Dance With The Fairy< *star*gazing*buddie :] Broken-Fairy is my partner in crime ;) little_miss is my real life saviour PaperClip is my stationary queen
So long ago, was it in a dream, was it just a dream?
I know, yes I know
Seemed so very real, it seemed so real to me
Took a walk down the street
Through the heat whispered trees
I thought I could hear
Somebody call out my name as it started to rain
Two spirits dancing so strange
Ah! böwakawa poussé, poussé --John Lennon
just like to say how much i respect and admire young carers for what they have to do.
when i started my youth work training i did voluntary work for a young carers project in my local area. i couldnt believe some of the things these young people had to do
Thanks guys, i loved using the young carers project...it was a place we could get away and have some fun but also talk to others in our position. I dont see it as a job or anything like that, its something you have to do so your family can stay together and although you have your ups and downs, its all worth it.
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
I can kind of relate to what you're saying. I suppose I'm also a young carer- my mom is disabled because of a birth defect and walks with a limp along with having balance issues. I often have to assist her with walking because my dad doesn't do anything to help her anymore. I've been helping her since I was old enough to have her leaning on me- the response to put my arm out for her is pretty much automatic now.
She doesn't have any serious medical problems anymore, except occasionally falling and having to go to the emergency room for stitches.
It just sometimes has an effect on my life because she can't go everywhere and do everything that normal moms can- I always need to make sure there's someone there helping her if I can't be there, otherwise she could fall and get hurt. This is often kind of difficult, like when I was taking prom pictures. We were always moving around and posing, and I couldn't help her because I was in the picture. Some of my friends parents were helpful, but others just kind of looked the other way and pretended not to see her struggling.
My father is disabled. He has been suffering from a severe back injury since I was about 3. He's had 3 major back surgeries and 2 major knee surgeries. I love my dad, and I try to help him from day to day. He was also diagnosed with severe depression because of his injury. Although it's difficult because I have to pretend that I'm strong, but I truely wouldn't have it anyother way. I respect all the rest of you who care for family. It's tough!
I use to when i was younger cae for my 2 (then) baby sisters because my mum n dad were both really ill but there both alot better now so i dont really need to now...
i never at the time was aware i was a young carer tho
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
----
I remember posting about this aaaaaages ago and no one else seemed to be a young carer, so i'm happy to see this. I'm 20 now and cared for my Mum until she died and now I look after my Dad.
If anyone needs anything please get in touch.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I look after my Gran. She has dementia and it can be difficult but I like looking after her. It's the only worthwhile thing I do. I help her with most things and make her food, help her get dressed/ready for bed, give her her medication etc.
It was hard at first but I've learnt to be much more patient and can deal with it all a lot better.
awww thanks for all your replies! I just wasnt sure if anyone here was a carer and let them know they are not alone. If anyone needs anything, just post here or pm me x
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
I look after my Gran. She has dementia and it can be difficult but I like looking after her. It's the only worthwhile thing I do. I help her with most things and make her food, help her get dressed/ready for bed, give her her medication etc.
It was hard at first but I've learnt to be much more patient and can deal with it all a lot better.
I totally agree, it was hard at first but you do get used to it and it makes you feel better to know you are making someone elses life better.
I have just applied for a job as a support worker in a residential home for the disabled as i enjoy the work so much. *fingers crossed*
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
Im a carer.. but that my job, i get paid to do it.
I get tired doing it for 8 hous a day. cant imagine having to do it 24/7.
i have a lot of respect for you all.
Oh God. I love my Gran but her dementia is getting worse and she knows her memory is going. It means that she acts in a way that winds me up.
She goes on and on about things, basically asking you to sort it. She talks roundabout the subject. That's just her though. She won't stop going on about it until you sort it.
She's currently crying her eyes out saying that she's no use to anyone and that she feels lost. I'm terrible at things like this.
I can't understand why she doesn't believe what I say though. That upsets me. I'll explain something and she'll say "I don't know. I'll speak to your mum/get your mum to sort it". WHY??? Why don't you believe me? Why can't you trust me? What's wrong with me? :(
[REPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID - Honk if you're Scottish!]
hello, im not a young carer, but i just want you all to know that what you do is great, as its such a huge thing for young people to do.
you may not think it but you should be very proud of yourselves becuase i know lots of people who would run a mile at the thought of having to be a carer!
chin up, take care, and remember that you guys need help too sometimes... so yeah if you ever need to talk then im here!
katy
x
Im not a young carer, but I just want to say how amazing you all are,
I really admire you all, you all do such an amazing job.
I have so much respect for you all. xx
I'm not a carer myself, but one of my friend's is. I think it's amazing of people who do that. My friend has to give up alot of time to care for her uncle annd doesn't get to have much of a social life. But she does try! I think she's amazing and I admire her and all fo you who care for disabled or sick relatives. xx
She Was Kinda Fragile
And She Had Alot To Grapple With
But Basically She Kept It All Inside....
I guess I was a young carer but I didn't realise it at the time, I just saw it as something I had to do.
When I was 10 my mum because severly anorexic and I had to look after her a lot of the time. Mainly by supporting her, reminding her she was beautiful, trying to get her to eat just a little bit. She then went into hospital for a few weeks and when she came out she seemed a lot better and continued to gain weight.
Now, she is a lot healthier, but she does still have issues with her weight which I feel I have to support her through.
The rest of my family never really understood why she was doing this to herself, and they were too busy with other things to offer support, hence it was left upto me.
I really do admire people who have to care for their loved ones, I understand how much hard work it can be. Feel free to PM me anytime if any of you want to talk. xx
Hey everyone, I was just searching through the forum and found this thread and kind of wanted to bring it back to life. I thought I'd just introduce myself as some support might be helpful at the moment. I'm 18, making me technically not young, but I'm living at home with my mum by myself ever since my dad left us last year. I've always been used to looking after ill parents, my dad was physically disabled and my mum has lots of mental health issues. I guess for me the strain is more emotional, my mum suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, depression, OCD, anxiety, agoraphobia... the list goes on. But she's been getting really ill recently. Obviously the divorce has stressed her out despite the fact that she's actually happy my dad left, but it's really difficult seeing her struggle as she s/h's and sleeps all day because of her medication. She's been referred to a day hospital recently but she keeps telling me that if she wasn't on her meds she'd be on hospital permanently for being at risk to herself. I guess it just gets on top of you a bit, obviously this is all normal to me so it's a bit weird posting it in a thread like this but I've been told that I deal with a lot emotionally I just don't take the time to realise it. I hope everyone else is happy and healthy atm, and I apologise if the rekindling of the flame in this thread was not appropriate as it was started so long a go lol xx
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
