Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - Do you ever get over it?

[Lady Lazarus]

It's been 7 years since I was abused and I wasn't even raped. Most of the time I think I am a happy person but every so often I get these awful memories which perhaps I'm really not over. Things completely unrelated like boyfriend troubles etc start me off and I'm supposed to be training to be a mental health nurse, but how the hell can I be a mental health nurse when every now and again I feel so ****?

Do you ever get over abuse?

[Raven]

i think you can. but i am in two minds about it. i think its something you will never forget but you can come to terms with it.
i was abused as a child and raped as a teenager. there was times when i thought to myself that i could never get over it but over time, i have become more able to deal with it. for me i just came to a point in my life where i realised i was going to be a mother and for me this was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. what happened to me in the past does matter, but it doesnt have such a hold over me now.

[-Tough-Cookie-]

I dont think you get over it - i think you process it to a point at which you can live without the memories an effects of it negativly impacting on your present and future.

[ghosts in the machine]

the memories will always be there, but I think (hope) it's possible to get to a point where they don't impact on your life in such a huge way, as -Kel- said.

On another matter - even nurses have bad days, and every now and again you will feel ****. I'm sure others will too, so try not to be too harsh on yourself about that.

[sopranonut]

I don't know if you do, it's been nearly 3 years since i was raped and i'm definately no where near over it. I'm also training to be a mental health nurse and struggle with thoughts that i should be over it. Just wanted to let you know that someone else is in the same situation.

[Chrissyann]

I don't think you can ever get over it. It will always be with you. It's a big part of your life, and it can't just disappear. But you can learn to live with it. Tackle all the problems it creates and it wont rule your life.

But don't worry about your training. Everyone has their down days, and just because you're training to be a mental health nurse doesn't rule you out of that. In actual fact, it might help you in your career. You will probably be able to understand some patients more than what your collegues may, because of the difficulties you're having.

Take care
*hugs*
Chrissy
xxx

[foxfly]

I don't think I can ever get over it, but I become more and more able to deal with life and it doesn't stop me from living life as I once did. Other people say it goes away and that gives me hope, but it's been 7 years for me too and I'm not over it yet. I hope I will get there eventually and I think that it does become something you can cope with more and more even if you never quite "get over" what happened.

[crazykat]

I think it may always be with you but you can get to a point where it doesn't affect you so much and you are able to deal with it better

[cmbolton]

It's been thirteen years since the first abuse and I'm no where close to being over it. Sometimes I wonder if it's because through the years other stuff has happened, but none the less, I'm definitely not over it.

I agree with coming to terms with it, but I think that takes ALOT of work and ALOT of time.

(((hugs)))
Carlene

[Lady Lazarus]

Thanks guys, what you've said has really helped and I feel much better. Take care of yourselves. x

[Kaytii]

It depends on what you mean by *get over it* because you can learn to cope and deal with the memories of abuse, but they'll still be there. I was raped 6 years ago and i'm not over it, but i'm dealing with it and things can trigger bad memories but i know ways to cope with the memories like writing it down or "calm breathing" etc...

take care,
Kaytii

Edit : Just because you weren't raped, doesn't mean the abuse wasn#t aweful and effected you negetivly