It's a long time since I've been on RYL, but for those few people who may remember me I thought I'd return to share the happiness that as of 26th December, I am 3 months SI free and finally back in a positive place in my life. My accomplishments over the last few months have amazed me, and though I know it will sound hideously clichéd, I never dreamed I would ever get to a point where I felt like I do at the moment. It's different to the occasional happy periods I used to get when I was still SI'ing, it's a feeling that this is what life should and can be like, and that I am now back in control of keeping it going that way, rather than everything else controlling how my life was.
My main achievements (which I am bullet pointing for easy future reference for myself) have been:
- Going out again
- Going back to school
- Having my scars on show to everyone, not just around strangers
- Coming out! :D Only to a few people so far, but it's a start
- Resolving to only ever be honest to myself from now on, and since then having made new friends, as opposed to making no new friends when I was trying to please everyone
- FINALLY getting over my ex!
- Not utterly hating myself any more
Although ultimately, getting to this point was something I felt I had to do alone and by distancing myself from RYL, the build up to that getting better was all down to being a member of the community here and learning so much from everyone. Each one of you are fabulous, even those people reading this just for something to do, thinking "I never even post, I can't be one of those people" or, "She must be on about her mates here, there's nothing fabulous about me, I don't count". You are. I used to be that person, reading these "I'm .... free" threads as if the people who wrote them must have been transported to a magical Narnia that I would never access, but I've bloody well made it, and I'm damn sure everyone else can too. This calls for a group hug smiley
, take care everyone, and thank you xx
PS. I will return to RYL one day, I'm not leaving yet, but 3 months is still incredibly early days for me and I can't quite do being a regular again yet (don't even think of cheering! :P).
