Triggering (SI) - Is my self harm attention seeking? *Trig?*
Been self harming for a long long time now, and I was speaking to one of my friends a couple of weeks ago and something she said I cannot get out of my head. I don't want to be too graphic, and hope this is within the rules, but 99% of the time when I self harm I have to go to hospital to be stitched, and my friend said that because I have to go to hospital, and because people have to see it, then in a way it is attention seeking. I have a partner as well and he makes me go to hospital, so I can't really get out of it.
It has just really bothered me that she said this because I am now confused as to what is happening.
I was just wondering what other people's view was?
Thanks in advance
xxx
i don't think the fact that you cut yourself hard means that you are doing it for attention. perhaps you just cut too deep or in a dangerous area. that seems like a simpler explanation.
there seems to be a pretty intense stigma about self harming being attention seeking. it grants someone the ability to write it off and not do anything. if one SI's for attention, then another person can justify ignoring it because the whole "attention just encourages" attitude. I have all kinds of problems with that attitude, but i think thats off the point. the point is that people often get hung up on the easy explanation and don't really look deeper into the issue.
i think the real question is why do YOU think you do it? its safe to say you'll know better than your friend. i know its tough not to internalize all the misconceptions that other people have about self-harm. the important thing to remember is that despite how little you may feel like you know about it, you know way more than most people. don't let em tell you who you are.
i dont think its attention seeking hun.
your friend just dosnt fully understand SI, i would say, as there is alot of misunderstanding surrounding the issue.
i wouldnt worry too much about it. even if it was attention seeking (which isnt always a bad or wrong thing, a person just wants to be heard)it is still self-harm, and it is still damaging.
i think there is two ways you can look at slef harm in general. that its all, at least in part, attention seeking. or the its never attention seeking. but i dont mean the attention seekign where you wave your cuts infront of peoples faces and go 'look what i did!', i mean the kind where you just want people to care. people may never know you cut, but part of you may want them to care that you do.
but if you flip it round, people who are 'attention seekers' in cutting still have very real problems. lets face it, there are other and better ways to get attention. so they arent relaly doint it to get attention, they are expressing how they feel in the only way they know how. people who can cope better talk abotu they're feelings, self harmers often cant. this is just our way of comunicateing. we jsut need to try and find a better way to do it.
just my two cents, please dont shout at me as im half asleep when i wrote this.
and also i dont think your attetnion seeking. your being sensible. your goign to hospital when you know you need to. but cuttign that deep is dangerous hun, so dont ever let what your freind said put you off going to hospital. *hugs you tight*
writing that, i think i agree with the second idea, that no self harm is attention seeking.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
It's only attention seeking in the sense that you want someone to care.
Having someone who cares is a big thing when you feel like no one does. It ticks me off when people say self harm is attention seeking. For me at least, whenever I cut, I would feel ashamed of myself. Why would anyone try to deliberately show people a part of themselves that they feel ashamed about?
its not attention seeking unless your going to people and being all "omg look at me i cut myself" and showing everyone...its just common sense to get stitches when you need it!!
I need you to know...I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the Light.
I don't think that it's attention seeking, but I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with attention being a reason for cutting-- a lot of people cut because they need people to realize that they're not OK, etc.
I wouldn't quite call it attention seeking...most SH-ers I know, including myself, hide their scars and are very ashamed of cutting. I do think for some people it can be a cry for help. You do it because it helps you but at the same time you know it's wrong; you hide it out of shame but some desperate part of you wants someone to notice so you can get help. My theory is a lot more complicated than that but I don't feel like going into it right now.
on that note, there are some cutters who flaunt it more than others. A girl I had class with last year was a cutter and she always showed me her new cuts and told me, "I cut last night." Mind you, I didn't know her at all when this began, so it's not like she was a good friend confiding in me. I encouraged her to seek help, which she did (ironic because at the time I didn't think I could be in the same situation a year later). She was very open about it but I didn't see it as attention seeking.
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