Missing self harm thoughts

[glitterfairy]

I am 12 years self harm free I kinda felt I just grew up out of it. Just recently though I've felt like I've missed it a bit like the sting, the calming feeling. I know I can't go back to it. I also have a long term partner so can't even hide it no more.

Does anyone get that feeling of kinda missing it despite being a long time in recovery.

[one_step_closer]

First of all well done with the 12 years, that is brilliant. I can relate to what you're saying. For some reason I can't self harm as well as I used to so I generally don't bother but I still get strong urges and really want to do it and go back to how it was because as unhelpful as it is it was a coping mechanism. Have you learned any other coping mechanisms? What has got you through the past 12 years? I know it's hard to have these thoughts, do you have anyone to talk to about them? Can you find a safe way to express them such as through writing, poetry, or art? You said you miss the calming feeling, does anything like relaxation help you feel calm? I hope this isn't distressing you too much.

[glitterfairy]

Hey appologies I totally forgot about this post. So it was Ince I ended up in a&e with a friend and I said I never want to do this again and I haven't.
The last 12 years my main one is pinging bobbles against My wrist but that's few and far between. It's just reared it's head lately which is quite annoying! I don't miss the long sleeves hiding it or people noticing at all.
I hope your well lovely x

[one_step_closer]

It is annoying when things come into your mind and it's hard to get rid of them. Has anything happened recently that might have led to these thoughts? Keep going, you're doing great.

[Pi.R^2]

Well done on 12 years free!
In answer to your question, yes I miss it. Until recently I would have said that I miss it every single day and fully expected that after all this time it would continue to be a daily feature of my life. However much to my surprise I think it's fading. I still think it will always be there, somewhere, but I'm amazed at how much of the time now, it's easy to not self harm.

For me, something that's worth remembering is that it will not be as good as your head makes up that it will be. I feel like I can remember this amazing sense of release and ease of tension but I cannot surely actually remember it properly. It's going to have been hyped up in my head after all these years! So something that helps me steer clear is the notion that all I would feel is regret for slipping up and disappointed that it wasn't even that soothing!

Hope that maybe helps a bit.

[not_so_insig]

I am equally the same amount free and I get like that too. So you're not alone. Personally speaking I am firmly of the belief that they never entirely go away but what changes is your attitude and reaction to them. But that's just my own personal opinion so feel free to disagree.

[glitterfairy]

Thanks guys :)

Insig I totally get where your coming from. I do feel they do disappear every now and then but when they do arise we can deal with it better :)

[baronessofbass]

I have been struggling with this a lot recently as well. You are not alone! It's so disruptive whenever the thoughts come back. But you got this!

[not_so_insig]

Hi there. We have moved to www.ryryl.com now.