Contains bullying - How to manage your child being bullied? *Assault too*

[tainted.fairy]

My 8 year old son is consistently a target for bullies, he has ADHD, Sensory processing disorder and likely ASD too. He is the most loving social boy ever but he doesn't have any friends as his hyperactivity is just too much... thankfully he doesn't realise this and thinks everyone is his best mate but this also means he doesn't understand when people are bullying him 😩

Today he was called horrible names by a grown woman in her 40s and her adult daughter including fat, gypsy girl (cause he had a pink top on-they told him this was why) and puffed out their cheeks and making vile faces at him insinuating that he was fat. All because he was taking too long on a swing. Upon realising I obviously lost my s*** and when they started laughing in my face saying my son was lying I threw my drink down in anger and walked away to find staff, this resulted in one of the women grabbing and clawing my arm which is covered in scratches and had to be treated by first aid. Myself and my family were the ones made to leave the park though as they had filmed me throwing the drink (on the floor, not at anyone...I in fact have it all over my own foot), what they done and what caused it didn't result in anything for them.

Obviously I want to protect my son to the death and understand i maybe reacted wrongly but how can I do that and help him understand they were in the wrong when this is the result?!

[Pi.R^2]

Oh goodness, what utterly ghastly people you encountered at this park! It's so tough because of course you get angry and want to fight for him, but also that's probably not going to be the best option in the long run - it's a big ask though to not react in the moment when you're feeling so defensive.

If at some point your son is aware that he is being bullied you could have a conversation with him about different ways to deal with people doing the wrong thing. So using examples relevant to him, explain that sometimes we take ourselves away because we don't deserve to be around that but also we can't take on everyone and that at other times we challenge things through the appropriate channels. In the moment you could say something like "gosh, I don't think I want to stay with people who say unkind things to strangers" so that he knows that you are not accepting the behaviour but that this is one of the times where you're going to take him away to somewhere nicer because we don't want to be around people who make us sad and cross. You could maybe make sure you always report such things to staff where possible, even if it will come to nothing, you're modelling to your son that often it's better to tell someone than to try to deal with it ourselves.