Advice please.

[SkylARosAbellA]

On Thursday morning I tried to take a overdose. My partner caught me and babysat me all day making sure I didn't do anything. By the time it was nigh time she said I needed to ring the emergency mental health team. I rang them and they told me if I was unable to keep myself safe to go to A and E. We sat in a waiting room for 40 hours!

The first mental health people we seen said I needed blood work. That took around 10 hours.

Then the next mental health team I spoke to said I didnt need to be admitted even though I stated if I was to be let out I would be back in four hours because I would just take tablets as I felt sucicdal. The woman didnt chnage her mind and said if I wanted a second opnion I could have one. But to be admmited I needed to be under the home treatment team.

Cue another 10 hours. Got to see the third mental health team who I said the same thing to. They said they had no beds, not even in A and E and I would be sitting there for up to 2 weeks. I said fine as I dont feel safe going home.

Cue 10 hours later I got told I could go to a crisis house. I agreed as I was so tired by this point.

Another 10 hours later they said I could go and discharged me. I have seen the mental health team twice whilst here and asked to be put on the waiting list for a bed as I still feel unsafe and suicidal. They have not done this and keep saying take it one day at a time. I am only supposed to be at the crisis house for five days but the support worker who works here has extended it as she worried about me.

Tonight has been the worst night and I have ended up self harming (Its not bad at all but its making me want to do more)

I am exhausted, I am tired and I cant keep doing this anymore. Why wont they listen to me and what can I say to make them listen?

Any advice wecome please. I am meant to be seeing them again tomorrow.

[Auror.]

few thoughts/questions for you to potentially think about, no answers required. just thoughts we had as you mentioned talking to the mental health team again tomorrow.

what is making you feel so unsafe/suicidal?
what are you hoping hospital would do for you?
is there any way to replicate what hospital might do on your own?
what would you need in order for the unsafe/suicidal feelings to lesson in intensity and become more manageable?

crisis house longer sounds like a good option given hospital isn't an option currently. what is the difference between crisis house and hospital that you don't find helpful? or do you find it helpful?

it sounds like they are listening some given they have extended your stay in crisis house, and from what you are saying it sounds as though they simply don't have a bed to provide in hospital. so it's not even that they aren't willing or aren't listening, it's just there are no beds for anyone. if that is the wrong interpretation of what you wrote apologies.

what would them listening to you look like? is hospital the only thing?
have you asked them what they would need from you in order to make that happen? or why they aren't, if there is any reason aside from not having beds.

we hear you. we get how important it sounds like hospital is for you. but if that's not an option, what can you do with the current situation and limitations you have to figure out alternatives? not saying it might not be hard or that it might not suck, or that you are not deserving of help. just thinking that continuing to be stuck on needing a bed isn't actually changing anything for you. so what other things could be done to get you unstuck?