Please help!! How can I help my gf (not toself harm)

[Anonymous_us3rr]

Me and my gf (14) Have been dating for months and we really love each other. We might be young but I still have some bold feelings for her. One day I vented to her (opened up) and she did the same after. She told me that she has a piece of glass and she uses it for self harming. Today, we had a discussion and she said that she bith does and doesn't want to stop. She is getting through a lot (parents, school, bad friends etc.) And it is a form of rage for her. I used to have anither addiction 1 year ago and I know what she is getting through.. But I have no idea on how to help her. I don't want to force her.
or something because I really don't want to lose herweight, and this will lead to losing her trust or maybe making it worse

any help?
Thanks :')

[jaythejester]

with a lot of things, you can't force someone to quit, but you can suggest it. my best advice is to just talk, and offer support. let her know that you're concerned about her and that you are there to support her. if it gets extreme, talk to your school counselor, or a teacher that you trust. if you go to advice, and then to the self-harm section, at the bottom of the list there's a "information for parents and friends" link which should be helpful.

[Auror.]

as said you can't force someone to stop. especially if they aren't ready or don't want to.

one thing we would STRONGLY suggest bringing up with her is the concept of harm reduction. that means if she is not going to stop self harming,, which is allowed, then she at least needs to be self harming with clean tools that can be sterilized, and not the tool you listed. also being up to date on things like tetanus jabs and able to take proper care of any wounds first aid wise. so having access to proper medical supplies to do so. ideally as well having a trusted medical provider who can check over wounds if it would be necessary.

harm reduction can also include things like trying to reduce the severity and frequency of self harm if that is something that is desired, or even just looking at what things might need to change in order to make reducing self harm feel possible.

you could also suggest things like therapy or having her reach out to a trusted adult, but depending on your location, adults may be required to report this type of stuff to parents. so definitely worth doing some research on ages in terms of consent and privacy in your area to see how that might work and what potential consequences could be.

in general, all you can really do is take care of yourself as best you can so that you are able to be there in support if she needs it. but also, you are not a professional and you cannot be there for someone else 24/7. your own needs are just as important.