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Old 27-03-2023, 07:31 PM   #1
DontLookUp
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Positive recovery post - 5 years free

I could never have imagined getting to 5 years free when I was in the depths of everything, I didn't imagine I'd even still be alive. I have so much healing ahead of me still that it's overwhelming, but I'm just focusing on the day to day and trying to add more good things into my life and learning to pull myself out of dark places a little quicker each time.

My progress has been frustratingly slow and I feel very behind in life because I fell off that standard milestone trajectory a long long time ago, but what I've been through isn't my fault and I try my hardest to remind myself that each of us have our own individual timelines. I'll always be grateful for RYL and for the people on here that made me feel understood and less alone when I had no one else <3

I know sometimes you don't see a way out, it feels impossible and hopeless, and I'm not gonna tell you it gets better because we get told that a lot from people that really don't get it, but I will hold hope for anyone who cannot hold it for themselves the way others have and did for me.


Last edited by DontLookUp : 27-03-2023 at 07:42 PM.


♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...

There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed.
Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.


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Old 27-03-2023, 09:27 PM   #2
not_so_insig
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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Many congratulations on being 5 years free. I know how it feels. Despite life being slow as you put it you remained free. I hope that you are proud of yourself.




Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013


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Old 28-03-2023, 11:20 AM   #3
one_step_closer
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Well done with your 5 years free that is a huge achievement. Life is hard, be proud of yourself. I hope you feel better about other things too, you can get there.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 28-03-2023, 04:53 PM   #4
DontLookUp
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Thank you both so much!! Sending love <3



♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...

There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed.
Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.


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Old 29-03-2023, 10:25 AM   #5
tamobhuuta
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Congratulations x



Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituum.

Ying tong iddle ai po!

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Old 01-04-2023, 11:47 PM   #6
Pi.R^2
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Oh yay, awesome news! So pleased to hear that things are going in the right direction and you’re so right that we all have our individual trajectories; life is not a race.

Congratulations on everything you’ve achieved :)



No other sadness in the world would do


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