Right my mum found out about my cutting a while back.... And for a while when I when in to hospital because of my tonseles I stopped and everything and then like 2 months ago know I started again.... Mum found out to day... and this is what she said "If you do it again Ill hit you into next week"..... How is that meant to help me.... Sometimes I really dont think my mum cares.... I know she wants to help and everything but that really didnt.... I dont even know why Im worrying you lot about it... Its not your problem :(..... Oh I dont know.... I dont know much anymore
Don't be afraid to post if you need to. We are here to help you when you need it.
I am so sorry your mother reacted that way. It was completely wrong of her. It's hard when parents don't seem to care about what causes us to cut - rather they only yell at or punish us for doing it. I know my mom threatens hospitalization if she even suspects me.
One thing I've learned about others is that when they find out, it usually scares them. In all honesty, that is the natural human reaction to something like this. They become scared and they yell because they don't know what else to do. After the initial shock, I have found that they question what they did wrong to make us cut. They fear it is a reflection on them (which sometimes it is). They become angry and then very cold towards the cutter. They either snap at or put a guilt trip on the cutter. Of course then the cutter becomes upset and cuts some more.
I read about this (can't remember where) and then also heard while I was at the hospital, how my mother reacted after learning. This cycle, of course, is not set in stone, but I have found it has reflected what happened in my situation and others I have spoken to.
Perhaps speaking to your mom when you both calm down would work.
I hope you feel better and everything works out.
(((Hugs)))
Carlene
Last edited by cmbolton : 20-12-2007 at 07:12 AM.
Reason: typos
well when she fast found out she just said you need to get help..... Then I stopped for a while and know Ive started again...... I know she might be upset because Ive lied to her and everything..... But that doesnt mean she has to hate me..... I dont have the guts to explain whats going on and why Im doing it...... and ive if I did she most likely wouldnt want to hear it..... She was a nurse for god sake..... She should know about this type of thing..... I just soo want to give up and never ever see her again but I love her and I want to see her I cant win!!!! I can never win
She doesn't hate you at all, otherwise she wouldnt care whether you cut or not. She'd just leave you do to whatever you want and wouldn't have any reaction.
Shes your mum, she just doesnt want to see you in a position where you feel you have to resort to SH. Shes angry because thats the only way she can express to you her emotions and probably because shes in shock about it.
Also just because shes a nurse, doesnt mean she knows how to react. Its different when your dealing with other people because your completely detached from them. Its a bit different when the person your dealing with is your own daughter.
You should really try and speak to your mum and explain whats going on with you.
Take care of yourself,
I am sure she will listen, but how she will respond, I don't know. But you must at least give her at chance. I am pretty sure she is in a state of shock right now. She probably doesn't hate you - she is concerned and worried as parents should be.
You need to plant the seed in her mind about how cutting makes you feel, why you do it, etc. What I did was purchase my mom the book called Bodily Harm. My mom began reading and understanding it. With that and information from the hospital, she began to see what cutting meant to me.
Does she agree with? No. And you can't expect her to. Parents are just not going to agree that cutting is right and okay.
You need to either talk to her or speak to a therapist/doctor. You can not do this alone. I hope that your mother will allow you to talk to her, but if not, you need to speak to a professional who can help you quit.
Most important thing is to be civilized when you speak. She may yell, but your best option is to speak to her adult to adult. She will probably be more open to listening if you do.
Good Luck!
Carlene
PS - my mom's a nurse too. And since cutting is a kind of "taboo" subject, they probably rarely see it. Just b/c they are in the medical field doesn't mean they should know how to react.
It's okay, my Mum reacted really badly when she found out aswell. As time went on, she got much better, she took me to the GP to get counselling (which I never went to) and she was offered counsel to inform and help her, she never told me she attended it but I reckon she did, maybe suggest that? Anywhere that does si or general counselling should have a parental service, even one session might really help her to understand.
Well see when I tried last time.... she listened but I think the main thing that pi**ed her off is that fact I sort of promised her Id stopped.... I hated myself after wards... And Ive said sorry and everything but I think thats the reason she was the way she was :(.... Its my fault really it normal is
you can't promise somebody that you'll stop cutting that never works...i promised my husband i would stop and that didn't work...i haven't cut in a little over three months, but as soon as i stop doing it for me i fail....just know i'm here
