Triggering (SI) - It's been so long. I gave up.

[anonymous coward]

I'm a 26 year old male. The last time I cut until now was probably when I was 21 - a messy situation with a girl, I cut once and that was it. Five YEARS. There's been so many times when I've been so stressed out or alone that I've really wanted to cut, and I've managed not to. And then Sunday I gave up. I just totally and utterly gave up.

Now it's Tuesday, and I've done it again. The crazy thing is that I haven't even felt the guilt that I felt last time. Crazier: It's felt even better than last time.

I even know why:

• I recently moved out on my own again.
• I'm alone.
• I had a date on Friday and it didn't work out.
• I'm kind of lost.
• For the first time since I was 18, I'm not sure what I'm doing next.

The worst part is that I wanted to tell my friend because I know she'd understand. But I didn't want her to tell me that I needed to talk to someone. I even held it against her last night that she kept talking to me until I went to bed, keeping me from cutting.

[Christie Road]

Well obviously you know that there is something wrong with cutting, you've managed to go years without doing it and last night you called a friend to keep from doing it and to let someone know. Saying to a friend that if they do something you will cut yourself is never a good idea. It worries the friend and they might not know if you are hurting yourself as you speak. As cutting progressess, it will feel better, you will end up needing it, liking it, but do you really want that? You should read this http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ad.php?t=22974 it might help. Hopefully things work out for you. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.