I am an ex self harmer and I've been thinking about my reasons for hurting myself. I did it for release, the euphoria I experienced but also because I knew that if I did it, my then boyfriend would find out and he would take care of me. Would others say this is a reason they did this?
No, most of my scars are in areas that people wouldn't see (thighs, chest, stomach, etc). I did it for control: I felt like I had so little control over my own life that I was pleased to at least have control over my ability to hurt myself, as silly as this might sound.
Not personally, but it's not uncommon for the reason to be so that others notice and give treatment or sympathy or something. Is it that whole silent plea for help thing? Obviously it would be better to just ask for help, or ask to be looked after for a bit... and SH is quite an extreme way to do that really but sometimes things just can't be said, I suppose.
And I'm not saying you did this at all, but in the same sense it can be seen as a manipulative way to get attention?
Yes looking back it is rather manipulative. I've been free for over 8 years now but just wanted others experience's. I think it would come under 'a cry for help' I'm not judging it either, it was what I needed/wanted at the time but looking back now I do see it in a different way.
Cries for help come out in all sorts of ways, good and bad, and it can't always be helped how it comes out. I'm glad you've got through it though and can look back on it objectively.
I do have self harm scars on my arms and I used to self harm so I could be cared for I suppose, I wanted people to see just how much I hated myself. Now I self harm secretly because its a crutch, and it keeps me under control. There is potential people will see because it's on my thighs and but very unlikely.
It's good you're SH free, that is an amazing achievement and it's also good you are thinking about why you did it. I think it is quite common to self harm for that reason some people just don't want to think that is why they are doing it. You know because of the "attention seeker" rubbish/ stigma.
"It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit"
-J.R.R Tolkien
No, most of my scars are in areas that people wouldn't see (thighs, chest, stomach, etc). I did it for control: I felt like I had so little control over my own life that I was pleased to at least have control over my ability to hurt myself, as silly as this might sound.
That's not silly at all. When I do harm cuts and bruises are on my thighs which are easily covered. At its worst my self-harm was about control and release-it still is.
I don't want anyone finding out so wanting someone to notice isn't a reason I harm.
Last edited by Celticroots : 08-06-2018 at 03:25 AM.
I hurt myself out of pure hatred for myself, in wasn't always so. When I first hurt myself as a teenage it was because I had been sexually abused as a small children, it was a way of controlling my emotions. As I got older it was out of pure hatred for myself, I am at times completely lost in this world. Been in many psychiatric hospitals over the years, none of these stays seemed to help.
My worst self-harm was to my left thigh, a 15 inch wound. I get the need for wanting to be cared for. But with me, it was about myself caring for me. The only kindness I show myself is caring for my own injuries.
You should be very proud of yourself being self-harm free.
I think people self harm for a variety of reasons, and none of them are invalid. If someone for whatever reason or motivation feels the need to physically harm themselves then they need and deserve help. That's my view anyway.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
Most of my scars are on my bicep or thigh where people cant see,but i do go for my wrist occasionally. The ones on my wrist are basically due to me being at a very low point and losing control for a little bit, and i do think that when that happens its kind of me crying out for help without actually asking because no one seems to notice that im hurting. I end up covering the ones on my wirst anyway with a bandaid and either wrist band or watch until the scars fade.
we are just suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids that suicide is not the answer.
-someone on youtube
Not specifically about SH but kinda links, I remember my counsellor once telling me about a girl she was seeing who would always have a headache, turns it was psychological because when she had this headache she got to be looked after and got to be in bed comfy with her cat etc. So I guess we can get addicted to being cared for. I however don't really, I've never really had anyone look after me when I've done it
Screw everyone and anyone who has ever put you down.
You're amazing.
The scars are just reminders that you're a survivor.
Remember there will always be someone who will support you, you may not know him/her but they'll always be there.
