Rough times ahead

[[Luna]]

Some of you will know that last week I found out that my dad has bowel which had spread to his liver.
Today my parents got the rest of his results. There were more spots on his liver and the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes. It's incurable. It's just a case of seeing how he responds to treatment and how long that keeps him alive. He's going to be starting aggressive chemo on Monday. He was supposed to start Friday but he wants to visit my grandparents and break the news to them.

I'm devastated. My body is shaking and I'm in shock.
This has all happened to fast.
I don't really know what to do.
Just could do with support. You guys have already been amazing and I can't thank you enough. I'm sorry to make a new thread.

[Buttons.]

That sounds really difficult *hugs and love*

[MunchBox]

I'm so sorry, Luna. I can't even begin to understand your pain.
Leaving hugs.

[Elmer]

I'm so sorry Luna. I am sending you my love.

We are here to listen.

[Sketchy]

I’m so sorry Luna. I’m here if you need to talk. Take care.

[one_step_closer]

So sorry that you're having to face up to this. You are doing well to just be moving through each day. I know that it must hurt so, so much. Talk to the people who are important in your life, and keep posting here if you need to.

[Bellatrix]

I know how hard it is to have a parent with cancer. I know our situations are different, but if you have any questions, let me know xx

[Serendipity.]

I'm so sorry lovely. Thinking of you and sending lots of love <3

[Unbreakable.]

Thinking of you <3

This is a horrible and painful situation. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

[Harbour]

Love you loads, we are here for you <3

[[Luna]]

Thank you all so much.

I think there's a sense of denial and avoidance. Things seem to hit me in small bursts. Just been trying to focus on other things for now. Keep busy and distracted. J has been off work so I've had company and we've had a lot of things to do and sort for Christmas and the baby and the house.

I'm not sure how things will be when I'm alone again.

Other things have been slipping like personal hygiene, remembering to take m meds and do my blood sugars on time. It feels like they aren't very important but I know they are.

Thank you for th support guys, I appreciate it so much.

[one_step_closer]

It sounds a lot like grief, although you haven't lost your Dad through death you have lost a sense of what the future holds for you and your family and there's a lot of changes and uncertainty to process. Are you able to do Christmas, house, baby, sorting things when you're on your own too to give you something to focus on?

[Nymphadora Tonks]

I'm sending all my love <3 I'm so sorry to hear that sweetheart.

I know those tasks might feel like they're thrown out the window but it's important you take care also. You're doing so well to be juggling so much.

[[Luna]]

I wanted to say a big thank you for all your lovely messages of support.
My family and I are doing reasonably okay. We had a really nice christmas together.
My dad had his first round of chemo and coped pretty well with it. Unfortunately his second round keeps being postponed because his white blood cell count is low. I'm worried that he's not having the chemo but there's not really anything anyone can do for now.

I haven't had any mental health support for the last few weeks. My support worker disappeared and my psychiatrist cancelled our appointment, rearranging it for the end of this month (on a date I can't do). My support worker text me out of the blue yesterday so now I'm seeing her on friday. Dreading having to fill her in on everything. Have to say I'm feeling pretty let down by the service.

xx

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad you had a nice Christmas with your family. I hope that your Dad can continue with the chemo soon.

Support can be very bad at times, I find that often it seems like everyone abandons me at the same time. How do you get on with your support worker? Will you be able to mention that you feel let down? I hope it goes ok and isn't too distressing for you and support is more reliable from now on.

[[Luna]]

To be honest I've been feeling pretty let down by them for a while. They've been utterly useless throughout my pregnancy. It seems if they can't throw pills at you then they don't know what to do.

Thank you lovely, my mum just rang to say he's having his bloods done on thursday and hopefully he can have his chemo on friday. Fingers crossed.
x

[one_step_closer]

Do you know what you'd like them to offer you? Maybe if you could suggest something they might be able to help. Is there anyone who can help you to mention that you've felt let down?

I will keep my mind fingers crossed for your Dad.